An Exercise in Mental Masturbation

Oooh baby you want me? Now you can get this lap dance here for free...

2005-10-16T21:04:00.000-05:00

It was said to me, "Hey, JC? You ever notice the most depressing place, and yet the most exciting, is a strip club?"

I pondered the thought for a while, carefully peeling another one dollar bill from the stack layed out in front of me, leaning over gently towards the stage, and slipped the dollar bill between Heidi's breasts, and replied, "Yeah, it's pretty pathetic, but then again, I'm pretty drunk, got a stack of bills here, and there's a crapload of hot chicks in here..."

Rewind a couple of hours...

I had not planned on going with Nav and Hertz to the bars Friday night; I originally wanted to go climbing. It had been raining for over eight days straight, and the cold rain dissuaded me from running for over a week. I needed to get some physical activity to overcome to cabin fever I was experiencing.

BA was stuck at work and he called me at eight to cancel. Nav and Hertz called me earlier to go to Rafferty's but I declined, again, I wanted to climb. Anyway, finding myself with nothing to do on a Friday night, I put on my Friday best and headed out.

The bar at Rafferty's was a bit dead, but the dining room was packed. Didn't me bother me one bit, as I was not in the mood to push through a crowd for a drink. Pleasantry's aside, we had a couple of drinks and head out to Gaebles as that place usually had clientelle more of our age.

In contrast to Rafferty's, Gaebles was packed. We met up with a few of Nav's friends, which included this one Indian chick who was a blast to talk to even though me and Hertz had absolutely no chance with her.

Then the suggestion came...

"Hey, let's hit Double D's..." Hertz said.

"I told you once, if I go there I end up spending two hundred dollars..." Nav replied.

I was unfazed, but intrigued. "You know, I haven't been there in years..."

This was true. Back in the '90's (tells you kids how old I am) my old roomate and I used to tour the local strip clubs whenever I came back from Asia. Now there is nothing that says home more than returning from a three to four month stint in Asia and seeing women with delicious curves. Forgive me for my crudeness, but that's a fact. Spend time there, and you'll know what I'm talking about.

The more I drank, the more the thought of going to DD's became more appealing.

After an hour of frustration, we left Gaebles and headed to South Amboy.

Now, there were a few things I kind of forgot when I got there...

1) It's really hard to strike up a meaningful and interesting conversation when someone is rubbing there ass against you. Not that I wasn't enjoying myself, but heck, I figured some small talk could break the ice. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

2) Don't accept dances from your friends, 'cause they send the crappy chicks your way.

3) I should treat trips to the strip club like trips to AC. Leave the ATM card at home 'cause I'll spend a crapload of money and the ATM fees are outrageous.

Got home at something like four in the morning, smelling like cigarettes and cheap perfume.

Felt pretty pathetic at the time, but then again, it was a lot of fun.

Cheers all..

I ain't saying she's a gold digger.. But she ain't messing with no broke nigga's...

2005-10-01T18:33:00.000-05:00

One of the funniest things that I've ever heard while playing cards was, "Used to think that women (poker players) couldn't bluff... But she took my money!"

So last night, we had our third poker night, and for once, we had a 8 way game going which allowed us to have money for first, second, and third place. My buddy, Breadman, and his girlfriend K played, and that was a welcome sight as both of them play in local bar tournaments almost all the time.

So there we were, seven guys and one chick...

And the one chick won.

All in all, she played really well, betting aggressively when she had the cards, and had a large enough stack (of chips that is...) to be able to steal the pot with nothing easily.

Funny thing was, Breadman lost almost all of his money including two rebuys to her all night! He'd win a small pot, then get in on the next hand, only to lose, or be pushed out by K.

"I can't believe it, at every tournment we played, she's always out after the second or third round!" Breadman said as his chips were slowly transfered over to his chick's.

We all joked that they were in collusion, but that claim was quickly denied.

Towards the end of the night, we were hanging out on the patio and Breadman said, "You know, me and K went on a couple of fishing trips, and each time, she caught more fish than I did!"

Hertz commented, "Breadman, are you trying to tell us that your girlfriend has bigger balls than you?"

Sheepishly, he agreed. "Yeah, I guess..."

All in all it was a fun night. I came in third so I walked away with my buy in plus a little extra.

Cheers

I'm drinking again... I'm on my seventh cold glass of gin oh, oooh... these lyrics are probably wrong, but they usually are on these things.

2005-09-23T22:39:00.000-05:00

Yep, I'm drunk.

Not because I'm sad, but I have to work the weekend, and I'd rather be hung over on a Saturday at work than anything.

So here are some pictures of me when I've been drunk...

So here I am in the UN General Assembly, drunk off my ass, sitting in the General Secretary's chair.

This was the buffet concert last year, man was I fucking wasted.
Me and the crew at Caroline's with Carlos Mencia.

Joe and I down in Ft. Myers...
Madrid 2005

Madrid, a few hours later.

Enough blogging, I need some sleep.

Cheers

I think a Ferrarri is a scaled down version of... God. And a Porsche 911 is just a jumped up version of a Volkswagen Beetle...

2005-09-21T22:01:00.000-05:00

So here I am, housesitting once again, watering the near dead lawn and garden, watching Top Gear, and eating the last of my parent's food. One thing that struck me as I perused the near empty fridge and tupperware stocked freezer, I realized how much my parent's cooking really sucks.

Case in point...

I was driving to the 'rent's house from work delighted with the thought that they have a grill and I was in the mood for a good steak. Grills are prohibited in my apartment complex despite having a neat balcony at the bachelor pad so the joy of outdoor gilling on this fantastic evening is an experience I cannot have at my apartment. On the way to the house, I picked up a rib eye, some fresh herbs, and some name brand side dish as I remembered the pantry is devoid of any good condements and/or spices.

And that's when I realized how bad my parents are at cooking.

If the pots they own suck, as well as the cutlery, and the spice selection, then the prowress in the culinary arts that my parents should have is severely lacking.

How depressing.

I guess that's why when I moved out at the tender age of 26 (hey, I travelled for a large part of my adult life, so why pay rent? Live at home...) I took a fascination with cooking. I got myself a decent set of cutlery, a set of Emeril's cookware, and have half a bookshelf full of cook books. Plus, my overwhelmingly huge crush on Rachel Ray helps in cooking meals in less than 30 minutes.

On a side note, I would like to point out my dad's fascination with socket timers.

Almost every light in the house, save for the kitchen, dining room, and bathroom lights are on timers. This is to deter potential thieves from thinking the house is unoccupied. However, having the living room lights or the upstairs bedroom light turn on at three in the morning everyday, in my opinion, really doesn't engender a feeling of "all is normal at JC's 'rent's house." It must leave a sense of severe insomnia for the occupance to any casual observer. If there are any at three in the morning.

What does this have to do with my chosen title of today's post. Nothing really, but I do suggest you all watch Top Gear.

Cheers all.

You sorry? I've got some old man's chopsticks stuck up my ass and all you can say is sorry?

2005-09-20T20:35:00.000-05:00

It's not a good sign when you're sitting at work surfing I-Am-Bored.com so I decided to head over to the cafeteria to grab a cup of crappy coffee and bug Wiggums. The Big Dongster, who happens to be the tallest Asian I know, sat down at the same table and started to eat a late lunch.

Out came the little tupperware containter in which was a simple salad: romaine lettuce, cherry tomatoes, red onions, and mushrooms, quite a tasty looking salad I must add. Next came the little container of what looked like ranch dressing, but what amazed me the most about this little scene of Big Dongster's lunch setup was the fact that he whipped out a pair of chopsticks and began to eat his salad.

"Chopsticks and salad, huh? Interesting concept..." I said.

Wiggums stopped chewing the sandwich that me and the other guys got him despite the fact that it was the wrong sandwich order (I think Hertz ate the sandwich originally meant for Wiggums). "You'd be surprised, it's easier to eat a salad with chopsticks than with a knife and fork." Interesting he'd say that as he was the only white guy I know who lived in an Asian country (Japan) who DIDN'T come back married. Add that to the fact that he's probably the only guy I know who lived overseas and DIDN'T go "native" either. So that statement was a bit of a shock coming from him.

But then I started to think about what they were saying...

Consider this...

Everytime I eat a salad, I tend to get too much lettuce and shit crammed onto the fork than I can eat. A pair of chopsticks would prevent the accidental overstuffing of rabbit food into my mouth. It would make distributing salad ressing easier as you could conceivably dip individual pieces of salad into the salad dressing. (As demonstrated in this photo grabbed from the vast internet.)

Interesting...

As I was contemnplating this fact, the Big Dongster added that he eats everything with chopsticks: salad, both sticky and non sticky rice, and Kentucky Fried Chicken.

As most nutritional anthropologists would say, the idea of the chopstick is to reduce the amount of work needed to eat and enjoy a meal. Somehow eating KFC with chopsticks would refute that idea.

Cheers

Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded.

2005-09-15T22:07:00.000-05:00

Saturday, Hertz, The Kim, and I, headed down to Philly to meet up with some of Hertz's friends to catch the Phillies/Marlins game and then later go to Market Street to hit the bars. Normally, I worry about little jaunts like this as the three of us tend to drink rather heavily and I really don't know anyone down there. But Hertz, in his infinite wisdowm, decided that he'd drive there and back. It was an offer me and The Kim could not refuse.

So we head down to the city of brotherly love, first stopping by Hertz's friend A's house. We immediately hop over to a house party to pick up his other friend, an Indian dude whose name I completely forgot, pounded a few beers, and played a kick ass game of wiffle ball. Afterwards, with less than thirty minutes until the first pitch, we headed to Philly proper to go to the game.

I must admit, I am not a baseball fan, but seeing the game live is sooooo much better than watching it on television. The Marlins won, and we rushed back to Hertz's car to get changed for the night on the town.

Before we left the parking lot, Hertz asked The Kim, "Dude, I'm not familiar with this town so you need to help me leave..."

"No problem," The Kim said, and we left the stadium to head down to Market street.

We get to downtown, and we are met by more of Hertz's buddy's friends. Our little group of six grew to a group of twenty, consisting mostly of Indian chicks. Interesting, I thought as we headed to the bars in this group straight out of Mumbai (Bombay for those uninitiated).

This is where things get fuzzy...

First off, I realized I really don't make that much money when someone from the group orders twenty Coronas and twenty SoCo and lemon shots. A rather large bar tab ensues where I imbibe something close to six Goose and Tonics and The Kim downs a shit load of Coronas and Patron shots.

Needless to say, we end up closing the bar.

The Kim and I stumble out of the bar with the sober, yet tired, Hertz guiding us back to the parking deck. Mysteriously, the fire alarm was tripped at the parking deck, so we had to huff up eight flights of stairs to get to my buddy's G35. Once I hit the back seat, I was passed out.

Take note, that was at 3AM.

I was awaken sometime later by Hertz screaming and pounding on the steering column.

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I just want to find the fucking Turnpike so we can get home! I've been driving around and I can't find the fucking Turnpike. You guys are fucking passed out, and I don't want to fall asleep at the wheel!"

In the front seat, The Kim was awoken. "Huh?" he said.

Just as The Kim woke up, there was a sign for the NJ Turnpike.

It was 4AM.

It took Hertz an hour to cross the Delaware and get to the Turnpike. A distance of about 10 miles. What the fuck?

Confused, drunk, and sleepy, I just nodded off, hoping that we don't crash into a pole.

When we got back to Somerset, I could see the sun start to rise.

Man, I haven't done something like that since I was twenty five.

Man, I'm too old for this shit.

Cheers all

Let me give you a little advice so you know. In times of economic uncertainty, never ever fuck with another man's livelihood.

2005-09-07T22:32:00.000-05:00

So I'm house-sitting the 'rent's homestead as they are away on vacation in the Phillipines. While the thought of having to water my dad's lawn and my mom's flower bushes twice a week, the prospect of free gasoline ("Go ahead and use my Speedpass while we're away..." Dad said) and eating all of my parents' food does outweigh the downsides of the deal.

With the recent rash of all my friends buying up townhomes whilst driving themselves into a 30 year debt has me thinking that my bachelor pad is getting quite small, my parents' home seems so empty with just my lonesome self wandering the halls of this quaint manor. Okay, it's not a manor, just a four bedroom one and a half bath house. But now that I have turned the big three oh and feeling exactly the same way as I was when I hit the big two nine or the big two eight, I ask myself, am I just taking advantage of my situation.

Here's food for thought.

My friend The Kim, who looks like a spitting image of Odd Job from James Bond or Random Task from Austin Powers, recently moved his family from Korea back to the States, once again reuniting the dynamic duo who terrorized Taiwan when his wife was away. Anyway, I was driving him around in my car and he was asking about how much it was and I told him.

"Man, you single guys have so much fucking money..."

Later on that day, I was talking to PA and T and they were lamenting about the rising cost of gasoline and their commutes. PA drives all the way from Fort Lee, NJ to Somerset, and T from east bumblefuck Pennsyltucky. It has gotten so bad that PA is giving up his prized possession of his Audi because a) the insurance is too high, b) the gas is too expensive, and c) he can't stand having his wife drive a better car than he does (his wife took the Audi after they moved here from Minnesoooooota so he now drives a crappy Maxima)

I advised him to get a Civic Hybrid if he feels that gas is too expensive.

"Too much money, and they don't have any power..." he replied.

T and myself looked at each other and laughed. "Dude, you can't get good gas milage and get good power at the same time..."

It was then that PA started into this whole, "if I were single again..." crap that made me, Wiggums, and T, laugh.

So as I walk around this empy house in my boxers, devising a way of being able to buy a house only if I win the lottery, I realize that things may not be so bad.

But we'll see.

Cheers all

Okay, so I've noticed mostly chicks drive the same car, but it still kicks BMW's ass!

2005-09-06T21:42:00.000-05:00

One of the reasons I chose my TSX over the other cars I was looking at was 1) not a lot of them are on the road here in Jersey and 2) for the price, there were a lot of options that I would have paid an arm and a leg for if I had them on other cars.

With that in mind, today I had what I called a Grand Theft Auto moment where I saw three TSX's in the parking lot of the local stip mall. Why call it a GTA moment? Well, for those dorky enough to have played any of the GTA3 games, once you get one of kind of car, it's all you see on the road! The most discouraging moment of today's GTA moment was that all of the drivers (a graphite pearl, milano red (hot, hot, hot color) and a pearl white) were all driven by chicks. Wiggums was quick to remind me that I made fun of Murphy for driving an Eclipse (as reported by Forbes)

But I learned today that my car took second and third at the Speed World Challenge at Mosport on Saturday. This would make Acura leading Mazda in the Manufacturer's race by two points, with BMW in a distant third. Ultimate driving machine my ass.

Now I'm realy not a big fan of motorsports, but the fact that they have a race where they take production cars (cars that schmoes like you and me can purchase) and race them with some modification, albeit rather expensive but not out of one's reach, gives this race series more respect from me than NASCAR. Most manufacturers are represented with Acuar RSX and TSX's, Mazda 6's, BMW 325i's, Mercerdes C series, Audi A4's, Honda Civics, Dodge SRT's, and Ford Focus'. At the very least they are not driving around in circles which can be a bit boring. Road courses, bitches!

Another cool thing about the series is that they follow the rewards weight system, where the first through fifth cars in one race are penalized in the next race with added weight which changes their handling characteristics. Places seventh through eleventh have weight removed. All in all, it ensures that one brand of car doesn't dominate, which was the case with Acura as Kleinburg and Cunningham had weights as high as 200+ pounds added. (For the non engineering inclined, that's like losing 20 horsepower)

Okay, so this post has been hijacked by my overall dorkiness.

Cheers all (I hope to be posting more, sorry for the lack of updates, been busy!)

There's a man going around taking names, and he decides who to free and who to blame, Everybody won't be treated all the same...

2005-09-02T21:39:00.000-05:00

The news reports are keeping me glued to the television and computer screen. I am compelled to write as I watch and read about the misery down on the Gulf Coast, and despite all the debates I ahve had with my friends and coworkers about the aftermath and response to this tradegy, I am still at a loss on what to feel or do about these past few days.

I can not and will not blame the local and state authorities for the lack of immediate relief after the hurricane struck. The complete destruction of all infastructure in the area would make any local response, with many of the first responders being victims themselves, next to impossible. While a hurricane is one of the most well studied and semi-predictable natural disasters, I doubt that even with the best planning available up until Sunday could the governors and local officials have prepared for this disaster.

Time will tell what the repercussions of the slow federal response will entail. With that in mind, I don't doubt the intentions of the government to help those in need, and most likely the same problems that hampered state and local relief efforts contributed to the delayed response.

I hope the convoys keep coming. I hope those trapped in New Orleans will be rescued. I hope this never happens again...

It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

2005-08-08T21:47:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I've fallen behind in the whole posting thing, and not because I've been lazy, but I've been busy as hell at work. The Berkie stopped by last week not as an ex-employee, but as a customer. Since I now must cater to every visiting customers technical needs, I was his engineering bitch for the whole week.

But that's beside the point.

You know your company is in trouble when they fire the cleaning lady.

Now Jessie was a sweet girl. Ready to make sure the coffee pot was always full and the cupboard full of styrofoam coffee cups. She even had the nasty habit of closing down the mens room during break time just when everyone and their brother needed to take a mean dump. Despite that one foible, I doubt that was grounds for termination. Hell, she didn't even work for us!

We had another layoff recently (not including the cleaning lady termination) and considering this is the umpteenth time I've had to deal with the threat of losing my job, I've realized that this time, the company has completely lost all sense of reason. Now I think they are just down to having the managers playing poker in the back conference room since there really isn't anyone left that is expendable. Oh well, the quest to satisfy the book and the stockholders makes work just that much more unbearable.

But then again, despite telling a half a dozen workers to get the hell out of the office, we did hire back my buddy SK from Korea. The lab rats and I spent the afternoon calculating how much his package must be considering the company is paying for his relocation. Turns out with salary, relocation fees, car allowance, 6 month living allowance, and expense account, my old drinking buddy from my Taiwan days is getting something close to $200K to move his family back to the States. What a sweet deal! Too bad we had to fire a bunch of people to make it happen.

Anyhoot, the mood in the office has been kind of down lately, as most of the employees despite their high level of education, can't seem to operate the coffee maker. We have a severe coffee cup shortage, and it seems strange to be able to take a shit at anytime during the work day.

Things seem to be changing for the worse.

Cheers.

Who would have ever thought that Santa lived at 1 Santa Claus Lane, Little Rock, Arkansas?

2005-07-29T22:49:00.000-05:00

Maybe that's where he hangs out after Christmas? After watching all the Gang Banging in Little Rock documentaries on HBO, I don't see how such a kind and gentle soul such as himself can live in such a rough and tumble town. But then again, a man who keeps child labor (elves, my ass! That's where all the naughty kids go and serve their time, The North Pole SuperMax prison. Making toys for the good boys and girls instead of license plates!)needs to cool out in the 'hood? Hmmmmm....

If he does actually have a US passport, does that deny kids in countries such as Iran, Cuba, Libya, and North Korea, the chance to get some nifty Christmas presents? Doesn't seem fair. What happens if they've been really good? You can't deny some poor child his well deserved goodies even though their government/political system is unfriendly towards the United States. I really would not want to see Santa have to cough up a hefty fine and serve jail time for violating State Department rules and regulations for citizens. Completely unfair.

Speaking of unfair, I think the Boy Scouts need a break from all the Wrath of God shit that's been weighing down on it members. Jeez, accidental electricutions, heat stroke, and lightning bolts are a bit much for this organization to endure. Now, granted, the Boy Scouts have shown resiliency in the face of adversity, but if I'm some kid who's going for some basket weaving badge and have to keep my eye out for electrical lines everytime I have to pitch a tent or look to the horizon for ominous storm clouds, I'd have to say: fuck that!

Cheers

Ground control to Major Tom... Commencing countdown, engines on... Check ignition and may God's love be with you...

2005-07-27T21:53:00.000-05:00

Flipping through the channels, I see the breaking news report about grounding the shuttle fleet. Now, I've had this theory in the back of my mind, and here it is: The reason why it took so long to get the shuttle fleet up and running after the Challenger and Columbia accidents was that we really only had one shuttle.

And they had to build a brand new one each time we had an accident.

Okay, it's not really a genuine JC original though. It was actually mentioned in a Larry Niven story. But still, out of all the strange conspiracy theories I've run across, I think this is the most plausible.

How could this be possible? How could we have been duped by the government and NASA? Well, I think it's a bit obvious...

Have you or anyone you know, ever SEEN two orbiters together at one time? Show me a picture. Prove me wrong.

They always say that tiles fall off the orbiter (not the external fuel tank) all the time. Well, if that's the case, then they could replace the tiles with the name placards all the time.

Plus, if they fix this new problem with the external fuel tank problem in less than two and a half years, then they could have had the orbiter up and running much sooner than July of 2005.

Trust me, I'm an engineer and it's my job to think up of this shit all the time.

So there you have it...

We really only have one shuttle, and that's why they're going to ground the whole fleet. All one of them.

Cheers all

You know, I don't get it. Since when are you not allowed to ask a Chinese man where a Chinese restaurant is?

2005-07-27T19:32:00.000-05:00

Today for lunch, I had a hankering for some roasted duck soup with Chinese broccoli. Hertz was in the mood for some Chinese food as well, and since we both have spent some time in Taiwan (he's had the bonus of spending some time in the Mainland), we headed towards the local hole in the wall Chinese place which is as good as any in country restaurant we've ever been.

Now what makes this restaurant seem authentic to most of the guys at work is the overall nasty appearance of the joint. The tables are sticky, there are a dozen Chinese people yelling at each other, and the chilli pots on the tables look as though they've been there for months without ever being changed. Even some of the menu items seem authentically Chinese. The beef noodle soup uses the cheapest cut of beef legally usable for human consumption in these United States. Can't get any more authentic like that.

But today seemed even more nostalgic of our travelling days as the temperature at noon was approaching the upper nineties. Since the restaurant had non-existant air conditioning, the tables seemed extra sticky, the dozen or so Chinese people reached an all time high in decibel level, and the chilli paste and oil seemed to ferment in the heat.

All that was missing was a street full of bumper to bumper traffic, smog (well, we are in New Jersey), and a ton of Vespas driving on the sidewalk...

Cheers

You eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?

2005-07-26T20:17:00.000-05:00

I decided to head off to KFC to get a bite to eat after work as I have no food at the bachelor pad at the moment. I'm standing in line watching this kid, who could not have been more than five years old, spinning around the rope barrier posts similar to what these fools are doing. After a few high velocity rpm, he lets go and then just falls down dizzy like a drunk college chick.

Now, this kid didn't learn the first time, and proceeds to do it AGAIN. Meanwhile, his mom is busy at the counter talking to the counter chick trying to get her order straight as the coutner chick's English was not perfect. The mom was completely oblivious to the antics her kid was up to. A good thing the rest of us on line were. It was quite amusing.

Cheers

You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

2005-07-25T22:01:00.000-05:00

I spent the morning at the Elizabeth County Municipal Courthouse dealing with the last speeding ticket I acquired on the off ramp to Newark International Airport way back in March. As I mentioned before, Muni Court is a highly entertaining place, and if I didn't have anything better to do, like have a job, maybe I could spend the rest of my days there being highly entertained by the antics in court. While I was able to get my ticket reduced to a two point offense, the whole process took an ungodly three hours to conclude. But at the very least, my troubles with local lawmen are over.

While on line to pay my fine and put these horrific last few months behind me (OK, so they weren't really horrific), I was amused by a phone conversation which occurred immediately to my rear. Some dude who could not be more than twenty five was calling his mom to discuss the outcome of his Muni case.

"So get this, Ma, they reduced my offence from improper passing to unsafe passing, but the fine is something like $400. Plus, they got me for having a noisy muffler, you know, 'cause it's Japanese, and that's something like $50 dollars. But the kicker, Ma, is that they charge me twice for the court fees!"

I was a bit sympathetic to his plight, at the very least he only gets one point on his license. But it gets better...

"So next week, hopefully, the prosecutor will review my case and be pretty lenient with me..."

Now I thought he was still talking about his traffic offense. I was a bit confused, since he was online to pay the fees for his case which should be closed.

"If the prosecutor is cool, I'll only get probation. Else I might get seven years..."

Oh boy.

I think this dude has more to worry about than his traffic woes.

"Yeah, but if I get probation, I can't leave the State of New Jersey..."

After that statement, I essentially tuned out of the conversation.

I'm pretty much a law abiding citizen, save for the two speed/insurance related issues, and I'm glad that I was raised being a law fearing person. Okay, maybe I was not raised fearing the lawman, but only fear the lawman because he's much taller than I am, as most people are. But given this dude's situation and considering he's been caught not only for traffice violations but for some other offense that requires JAIL TIME, I'd figure if you're in a disadvantaged situation like that (he was about my height, so the fear of the lawman must be there, at least I would think that) you'd be a bit more careful around John Q Law.

But that's my opinion.

Cheers.

Don't tell me. The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt.

2005-07-24T20:43:00.000-05:00

So I got to see the final in the Gold Cup 2005 Tournament where the US won during the penalty goal shootout verus Panama. I'm not a soccer fan, let alone a fan of any spectator sport, but I will go to any game that I am invited. Considering this was my first international soccer match I have ever attended, I do have some observations:

1) The US fans really need a marching band. There was a group of Panamanian fans who circled the lower mezzanine with a bunch of horns and drums. The crowd (at least the Panamanian fans) were ecstatic. We (the US) need one. Chanting "USA! USA!" would be more impressive with drums... Or guns, which ever you can sneak in.

2) Better food needs to be served for the prices that they offer. On top of that, the food should be ethnically compatable. Somehow, the knisches they were serving at Giants Stadium are neither American or Panamanian. Empanadas would have been nice...

3) The Star Spangled Banner means so much more when it's an international game. Anytime else, it feels like being back in grammar/high school...

I think all international disputes should be settled using a penalty goal shoot out: best out of five. It would save a lot of lives and money as you wouldn't spend as much money on a military If you really think about it, it would grant the third world a better leveraging point over a lot of first world nations. Even Europe would occasionally be the center stage in world politics.

Cheers all

If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars.

2005-07-20T06:12:00.000-05:00

I could never be a sumo wrestler as I am not fat and do not look forward to pushing huge guys around. But would you want to be this dude?

Man, wouldn't that guy be pissed off? I wouldn't want to piss either of them off.

My brother recently went to Spain on vacation and one of the things he wanted to do was go to Pamplona and see the running of the bulls. Unfortunately, he was unable to get a train ticket. If he did, he could have ended up like this dude:

I wonder how you'd explain THAT to the EMT?

Cheers

Some people just need a little motivation to keep in shape...

2005-07-18T06:31:00.000-05:00

If they had this law over here, then I'd have abs of steel!

New tool in anti-porn drive: forced sit-ups

Cheers

Showing off the new whip...

2005-07-14T15:03:00.000-05:00

I recieved an emergency call last night from Wiggums, who is out in Big Sky Montana enjoying a conference, doing some fly fishing, and driving the rental Hyundai at rediculous speeds. He needed some presentations I worked on a couple of months ago for a users meeting at the conference. Now, we're in the middle of a plan shutdown, so technically, I am on vacation, but being the loyal coworker, I headed off to work to send those files off.

Pulling into the parking lot, I noticed BA, Chester, The Murph, and Slavic, walking out of my former company (which shares our building) heading off to lunch. Not in any rush to go to work in a nearly empty office, I offered to go out to lunch with them. Besides, I have a new car and need to show off a bit.

Now, I never intended to let Chester into my new car, if only for the reason that he's a gadget guy and would only start playing with all the buttons in the car. True to form, he started to play with the Navi system.

"What does this do...", "Can it find the Taco Bell?", "Make the car talk again (he needed to hear that voice over and over agai)." Blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda, you know all that shit.

Anyhoot, my hatred for Taco Bell grows everytime I go there. The lines are long, the service is incredibly slow, and despite the increase in staff was encouraging, they did not help one bit. Fuck Taco Bell.

After getting back, I hooked up the old lappy top and guess what? I get a message from Wiggums that he didn't need the presentations. Bastard!

Cheers

HANK!

2005-07-13T20:26:00.000-05:00

This has got to be the funniest commercial I've seen in a long time!

Starbucks Hank commercial

Cheers all!

Cargasm... Is that even a word?

2005-07-13T18:49:00.000-05:00

So today I picked up my brand new Satin Silver Metallic 2005 Acura TSX. Man, all I have to say is that car has the sweetest 6 speed transmission of all the cars I have driven and test drove. Too bad I have to baby the car for the first 600 miles to break in the engine. I really want to open her up and see how she behaves.

I have to say that taking delivery of this vehicle was a very pleasant experience. One of my coworkers told me how his buying experience as a pain as the salesman (especially the finance and insurance guys) kept pushing stuff like Lojack and extended warranties on him. But when I got down to talking to the F&I guy, he gave me the difference prices, and I opted for no extended warranty and no Lojack (why would I want to finance extraneous shit like that and end up paying MORE in the long run when I can get stuff like that off of Ebay. Yes, you can get an extended warranty off of Ebay!)

I've had the car for less than day and I've driven 70 miles on it. I'm looking for excuses to go to the store.

So here's a picture of the Acura:

And the obligatory ass shot:

The console is way cool:

But the best part:

NAVIGATION, BITCHES!

That should piss of Hertz with his $40K G35 which is Navigation-less. Plus, I think my stereo system does sound better than his, but then again, his is a Bose and mine is just an Alpine. Granted his car is a hell of a lot faster than mine, but then again, it's $12K more than my car he hasn't paid rent for something like 2 years 'cause of his travelling. I could have gotten something in that price range, but that would have been financially irresponsible of me.

The voice activated controls kick some major bootay! I love the fact that I can just ask, "What time is it?" And the friggin car in typical Japanese anime voice replies, "The time is 5:46PM" Yeah, I could just read the digital clock, but having the car talk to me is just over the top.

I feel the urge to go out and buy some potato chips. It's getting dark out there, and I want to try out the HID headlamps.

Cheers all!

I got a need for speed get in da truck wit me... Or we can start the Bentley doin a buck fifty...

2005-07-10T07:13:00.000-05:00

There are some days which I wish I had my camera with me.

I pulled into the local Quick Check to get my Sunday morning coffee and Big Stick Rice Crispy Treat when I spied a pearl white Maxima with a God-awful body kit which made the car look like some sort of land shark. The rear winshield and back passenger windows were done in a black/metallic fade window tine and the top of the windshield had stickers on it in cursive letters spelling "PUNJABI." It happened to be one of the ugliest cars I had ever laid eyes on.

Now, being Asian and all, I am supposed to be sympathetic to the whole ricer crowd. But I can't stand listening to all those Civics running around with the coffee can exhausts making out to be some sort of speed racer car. I think most of those guys spend all their money on making their car look nice than run better or properly. That's my opinion. I'm sure the owner of the Maxima thinks the mods on his/her car were well worth it.

On a related note, I ran across this article in Sport Compact Car Online in which a reader is asking for advice on making his Nissan Sentra a faster drag car. It begins:

Dear Sport Compact,
First off, let me just say that your mag is the best my friend is subscriber and I steel his copy every month before he even reads it now he wants to kick my ass but I told him instead of fighting we should have a heads up doorslammer only problem he has a Mazda MX-6 with the turbo motor and my Sentra cant keap up I mean my car is fixed up and all but I spend most my money giving it the looks I have full aero and pearl paint and lower three inches and even sub dubs for rims I spend so much on paint and body I have not money left to beat my friends turbo and now he says if I loose hes going pound my ass into the ground can you help me go faster thanks you guys rock

Scared to Race
El Monte, Calif.

The editors gave the writers who describe themselves as "three engineers and an art history major" the task of making the car faster for $0. You could read the funny details here.

Essentially, they took a car that looked like this:

Which ran a quarter mile in 16.3 seconds.

And changed it to this:

Which ran the quarter in a blistering 14.3 seconds.

All in all, a very funny article, and something that all ricers should take note of as they spend thousands on their cars. But I love how they finish off the article:

Got a problem nobody else can solve? Write our technical assistance team at Texas Sawzall Massacre, 774 S. Placentia Ave, Placentia CA, 92870. If you're lucky, we'll let an art historian fix your car.

Just too funny.

Cheers all

The ice age is coming, the sun zooming in... Meltdown is expected, the wheat is growing thin...

2005-07-07T17:06:00.000-05:00

I awoke this morning to the news of the Underground and bus bombings in London. It's pretty messed up that the city was in complete jubilation that they were chosen to host the 2012 Olympiad and this happened. Weird, I was even going to write about and article I read on MSNBC about the whole Paris vs. London rivalry over the Olympic games.

You know, I've been to a fair number of countries, and in most of them, I've had to ride the local rail system to get from city to city. Most of those times, I was carrying my luggage: a kit consisting of a large suitcase with almost forty to fifty pounds of clothing, a tool box which was another forty pounds, and a laptop. Never once did I ever wonder why no one ever inspects luggage. Now with the London bombings, the Moscow bombing, and last year's Madrid bombing, I realized how most rail links in the countries I've been to are unsecure. Even in NYC I've seen people on the subway with small carry-on, rolling suitcases. Makes me shudder what someone could maliciously pack in one of those suitcases and stroll onto a commuter train.

But what could we do about it? Would anyone really tolerate having their bags inspected at rush hour? Will there be long lines at an airport-like security checkpoint at Penn Station in the near future? I sincerely hope not.

Cheers

Life is a highway, I want to drive it all night long...

2005-07-05T14:59:00.000-05:00

So I took the plunge, and left a deposit on a Satin Silver Metallic 2005 Acura TSX with Navigation system. I spent the better part of last week sending out a flurry of emails for quotes and was able to get the car for $28K, about $1.5K below MSRP. It was the most pleasant car buying experience considering the first car I bought was from a used car salesman. Now I just have to figure out what to do with the Honda, as it is too old to trade in.

This weekend, I realized I need to learn how to Salsa dance. Hertz and I went to a cuban restaurant/bar Friday night, and there was this chick there and her friends that completely blew everyone away with their salsa dancing skills. Being Asian, I do have some skills at least in regular dance clubs, but this salsa shit is a level much higher than my genetic disposion would provide.

I know I haven't been posting as much lately, nor has it been as interesting as my previous posts. I've just been soooo busy with work, and doing engineering crap tends to drain any creativity out of my brain. But I do have a few days off so I will try to share some of the more amusing things that go on in my life.

Cheers all

Peter, I know how you get depressed about your job and all... I know how you feel... Maybe I didn't whine as much...

2005-06-30T20:42:00.000-05:00

Everybody's a complainer.

This whole week as been a whirlwind of busy work and listening to coworkers complain about how much work sucks. Most of the time I would agree with them. But every once and a while, when I step back and really look at it, where I work is a pretty fucking funny place.

Hertz, Wiggums, Pawel the Pollack, and I were leaving work to head out to the local Chinese buffet for lunch, when we saw an old friend from the past in the parking lot. Mack was one of the maintenance guys from back in the day when working at my job was fun. I don't have a picture, but if you can imagine a cross between Samuel L. Jackson and David Chappelle, you'd get a pretty good idea of who Mack was. The best part, he had this pimped out ghetto van that had the best sound system in the lot and was not afraid to show it off. We laid him off in 02 and every once and a while he'd stop by to say hi to all the boys.

I can remember a time just after I had stopped travelling and Mack and I were in the lab, passing the time away, watching streaming porn on the lab computer. This was long before we had an IT department that actually cared about what we did on the company's computer network. It was a girl on girl scene and Mack leaned over to ask me a question.

"So, JC, would you hit that shit?"

"What do you mean? Two chicks at once? Shit, yeah!" I said. I was young at the time, and when you hung around Mack, you felt cool. "Isn't that any man's fantasy?"

He laughed, "Naw, man, I mean go down on a chick?"

Now, I've confessed before, that the majority of my intimacies with woman occured when I was completely hammered, so most of the time, I was open to almost doing anything.

"Well, yeah, why not? When it's there, man, right in front of you, sometimes you just dive in!" I replied.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, "That's the same mouth you kiss your mother with!"

"Yeah, but not immediately afterwards. Dude, I was halfway around the world!" I told him. He started to laugh hard and slapped me on the back, "JC, man, you're one nasty brother!"

So I had some fun years ago, so sue me.

But as we walked over to Mack and a group of other guys from work, he instantly recognized myself, Hertz, and Wiggums.

"JC! Man, you've been working out?" he told me, "Damn, brother, you look good! Got a girlfriend yet?"

I laughed and nodded no.

"Still not working out for you, huh?" he added.

Mack turned to Hertz and said, "Chris, you still getting bald?"

"Yeah," Hertz replied and laughed.

"And Wiggums... Damn, they let you out of Japan? Good to see you guys...."

We talked for a couple of minutes. Turns out Mack is working at the company down the street, so we may be seeing more of him over the next few weeks. Unfortunately, he got rid of the ghetto van and replaced it with a Durango with a five foot high CB antennae, but I bet it's got one hell of a sound system...

Cheers

Now do you think, I might be so bold to make you an offer? When you hear me talk like this, just stand out of my way...

2005-06-29T22:03:00.000-05:00

So now that I can drive the streets of New Jersey with a clear conscience, I decided that it's time to retire the Honda and get a new car. AFter hours of pouring over the internet doing research on what type of vehicle I would like to drive for the next five years, I decided to act my age and tax bracket and shop for an Acura.

But first, I promised myself that I will not make the same mistakes as my buddy Hertz did. Granted, he was cash heavy enough to get the car of my dreams, the Infiniti G35 AWD in 6 speed manual transmission. I am not in the same situation, as I am a bit more financially more responsible that he is; plus, I don't want to come off as being a pretentious prick, as most male drivers of that sports sedan usually are. However, it was after the following conversation that made me a bit more conscious of the car buying process...

"So I think the dude who sold me my car is an idiot?" he told me.

I was admiring the dual climate controls on the center console when I replied, "What makes you think that?" Wiggums was in the back seat playing around with the reclining back seats.

"Well, I thought with the Premium Package, I got the DVD navigation system..."

The center console was conspicuously absent of a small LCD screen.

Obviously no navigation for this car.

"When I got the car, I asked about it, and he replied, 'No, it doesn't' Turns out that the premium package is just what people normally get with the car so it's really the normal package!"

I couldn't help myself but glance back at Wiggums and shake my head. Wiggums was holding back his laughter.

"So you paid an extra $3,500 for what people normally get?" I asked.

"Yep." he said as he gunned the engine to show off the horsepower.

Later that afternoon, I went on the internet to check out the options for the G35.

The DVD Navigation is a separate package.

The premium package he got essentially gave him a better stereo and the reclining seats, which, by the way, simulate coach class airline seats in a car. But with leather.

Oh well, I guess the whole luxury experience blinded my buddy's reading abilities.

Anyhoot, as I was researching my future vehicle (a 2005 Acura TSX 6 speed manual without Navigation), I ran across this website: Confessions of a Car Salesman Some pretty good reading as it gives you the salesman's perspective as well as gives some good advice on car buying.

I've got a stack of emails from dealers on pricing, and I'm armed with the average price people paid in my area for the car. So hopefully, I can get a good deal without having to haggle in the showroom. But we'll see, I'll do a test drive this weekend.

Cheers all

I'm free! I'm free! And freedom tastes of reality....

2005-06-28T13:00:00.000-05:00

IF you've been wondering why it's been a while since I updated; well, I've been a bit busy with work and I've been stressing about my court hearing.

My hearing was today.

The charge of driving without insurance was changed to failing to show proof of insurance, and the speeding offense was lowered one notch.

So a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

All for a grand total of $1100 including lawyer fees.

At least I can drive now.

Cheers

When you're mind is a mess, so is mine. I can't sleep cause it hurts when I think. My thought's aren't at peace...

2005-06-24T01:16:00.000-05:00

When my RSS reader chimes in at 2AM I am compelled to read what my fellow bloggers have written. Combine the fact that I am having a restless night, I figured I'd chime in considering that I've been meme'd. So here it goes...

1. What is the total volume of music you own?
Considering that a large part of my CD collection is somewhere in the lost and found section of the Hotel Royal Hsinchu in Taiwan, I currently have 1612 songs on my Ipod/I-tunes and a dismally small collection of surviving CD's.

2. What's the last CD you bought?
Truthfully? I bought Music for the two-cycle engine by Billy only because I know the drummer. I was shocked to see their album on I-tunes. A good local Jersey band who often can be found playing gigs at the Harvest Moon in New Brunswick. If you're ever in the area, check it out!

3. What song is playing right now?
If you haven't figured it out from the title, then it's "No Other Way" by Jack Johnson.

4. What 5 songs do you listen to a lot?
"Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own" by U2. Since Father's Day was last Sunday, and I just recently found out that this was about his dad who was an opera singer, this one's a great yet heart wrenching song to listen to.
"My Doorbell" by The White Stripes. I just love the drum beat to it and a great driving song.
"Independence Day" by Elliot Smith. The melody is just haunting.
"Gin and Juice" by the Gourds. Better than the original and funny to have blasting in the car stereo in Newark.
"Trusted" by Ben Folds.

5. Which 5 people will you pose these questions to?
For bloggers:
Brian, Isabo, PB, DH, cmesmyl
For non-blogging people:
BA, Janey, Joe, Shannon, Hot Starbucks Chick #3

Cheers

Everything is quiet, everyone has gone asleep. I'm wide awake but these memories... These memories can't wait...

2005-06-23T22:22:00.000-05:00

The past few days have been some sort of nostalgic trip.

Over a game of cards on Tuesday night, my old friend SK, who flew into New Jersey for an interview from Korea, told stories of our exploits in Taiwan to BA and Hertz to educate these youngsters on how Field Service was in '99 and '00, years before the new batch took over.

After taking my hard earned ducets, SK recalled a story of how he "broke" Wiggums when he was in Korea.

"Yeah, after work I took Wiggums out and got him drunk almost every night. 'Cause in Korea, you have the weekends for the family, so you go and get drunk after work during the weekdays..." he said.

"Yeah, I know how that is..." I replied. In 2000, SK's wife Jenny was in the US for two months with their two year old son at the time. Instead of going home to an empty house, he took me and Charlie out drinking every night.

He continued, "JC, man, you'd like Korea. I don't care what kind of drinker you are, one bottle of soju, and you're done man. You're done!"

Now, for a dude whose only five foot five, SK built like a tank. A stocky Korean to the likes of Random Task from Austin Powers, if he says that shit can bring you down. Then I believe him.

"Is that so? How much is in a bottle..." I asked.

"Oh about this high." His hand made for a bottle about 750ml in volume.

BA chimed in, "Yeah, and the best part, is that it only costs about a dollar!"

"Well, JC, you'd better start working on your tolerance, bro," Hertz added, "'cause from a few weeks ago, you don't hold your liquor that well anymore from what I saw..."

He's right about that, I have fallen behind since my glory days from five years ago.

Today, I was in the cafeteria digging into a bucket of KFC when Lul came up to me and asked me a question.

"Hey, JC, remember that time in Japan when we went to that German restaurant?"

"Yeah"

"Have you ever had that much alcohol ever since then?"

I was sitting with T and Hertz. I thought for a minute and said, "Oh of course! You never had the privelage of going out with me and the Conk in Albuquerque or myself, SK, P-Neet, and Charlie in Hsinchu or Taipei. Now that was a lot of volume!"

"I only ask 'cause that was a rough night, and you were not as light as you are today. You were one heavy motherfucker back then..."

Hertz had to chime in on that one, "And if he wants to get back into his old drinking shape, he's have to be that heavy again. Or he'd have to run 30 miles a day and not eat..."

So true. So true.

Cheers.

When no one steps on my dreams there'll be days like this. When people understand what I mean there'll be days like this...

2005-06-22T21:52:00.000-05:00

Outside of the Dunkin' Donuts on 27 in Highland Park while waiting for BA to get me my number one combo with two Boston Cream donuts, I noticed the Jonny On The Spot truck was servicing the Port-O-John next to the construction site adjacent to the parking lot. With coffee and donuts safely in my possession, I negotiated the Honda around the parking lot so we could be on our way to work. Unfortunately, I was stuck behind the Jonny On The Spot truck as it waited for the morning traffic to part and let it be on its way. While stuck behind the crap truck, I thought to myself, "this is going to be a shitty day...."

The Boston Cream donut from the 'Nuts is probably one of the more difficult on-the-road snacks to eat while driving. The secret to safely ingesting this tasty chocolate con vanilla pudding treat is to locate the pudding injection hole and start from there. Many of my friends have overlooked such detail and proceeded to squirt the tasty filling all over their steering wheel and consequently their lap as well. By engaging the donut at the filling point, you deny the inadvertant release of the pudding filling. After the first bite, gently squeezing the donut will force the vanilla pudding to the bite region and one can safely meter enough filling on a bite per bite basis.

Cheers

Picking up the ticket shows there's money to be made, go on and lose the gamble that’s the history of the trade...

2005-06-20T22:17:00.000-05:00

So my friend SK flew in from Korea for an interview at my company. Now here's a guy who broke the world record on major screwage from my company by being the only person I know to be laid off, hired, then fired, and then re-hired by the same company (mine) in a two week period. After about a year, he decided to pack his bags and move his family to Korea to work at a major electronics manufacturer. Now his wife wants back in the States and my company is offering him a position.

At first I told him that this is the same company that screwed him the last time, just with new managers. But after a while I thought about it, and if my company is willing to relocate him from Korea (something like a $20+K package), I figured that it would be worth it for him to tolerate the situation for a year or two.

Anyway, Hertz, Wiggums, and I, met him for lunch and shot the shit about all the good times we had overseas over in Taiwan where he was stationed at the time. This was the guy that since his wife was in the States for two months, insisted I go out drinking with him ever night. Hell, he even got me laid one night.

As a bonus, I got to ride in Hertz's brand new Infiniti G35, which he chose over the Acrura TL since it had 300 horses and he sees to many TL's on the road. A nice ride, but I do have to admit my friend has problems handling the power that car has. I mean, you're not supposed to hear a loud thunk everytime he shifts from first to second under power. At least I don't think you should hear that.

When we drove to lunch, I counted five G35's on the road and no TL's. I guess he chose the car that every pretentious prick drives.

As a bonus, we're having the first Somerset-Seoul Poker tournament tomorrow night as SK has a wednesday morning flight and would not mind playing poker to keep him awake until the limo picks him up at 5AM.

Cheers.

Oh come on, thirty more years of this, you get a tiny pension and a cheap gold watch.

2005-06-19T18:42:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I do have a story to tell...

June usually marks a number of my fellow coworker's anniversaries with the company. Since the majority of the engineers under the age of 30 were part of the hiring practice of "get 'em fresh out of school 'cause they won't know better!", we all have our anniversaries this month. My eighth year was the 9th.

Anyway, we were all subjected to a pep talk all employee meeting on Thursday since the big-wigs at my company sense a moral problem amongst the workers. While I personally feel that all the moral problems can be solved by a company sponsored raging kegger or hiring of more attractive women, the meeting ended up exactly how I expected it, a complete waste of an hour of my life. However, the management was nice enough to give out service awards to a number of employees.

My friend Wiggums received his five year service award.

Now God bless Wiggums. Here's a guy who blindly accepts the company line and works almost twelve hours a day hoping that someday, he'll advance up the corporate ladder. Too bad for us engineers it's more like a stepladder for midgets than a true corporate ladder...

But I digress...

For his years of service, Wiggums had the honor of selecting from the amazing prize pool the company was offering. These prizes included:

1) A leafblower
2) A lemonade set made of 100% real plastic.
3) Various jewelery made of semi-precious stones. You never know when you need a garnet ring.
4) A wet/dry shopvac (cheap kind with a 9 gallon capacity)
5) A porcelin bear which looked like it was masturbating.

I suggested he get the shop vac as the lab is in desperate need of a vacuum.

I told him, "You spent two and a half years in Japan, working 60+ hour weeks and this is all they have to give you? Feel pretty fucking stupid now don't you?" Yeah, that was harsh, but I've been sick all week and was pretty disgusted by the prizes he could pick out.

For the 10 year guys I figure you could pick two prizes out of that pool or get the set of inflatable furniture. I'll find out in two years as my 10 year is coming up.

I bet you he feels like Lloyd Dobbler calling his friends up and saying, "I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen!"

Oh well. The things we do and have to put up with to advance our careers. At the very least, on my 8th anniversary, the company sent me to Europe. I can be happy with the little things in life!

Cheers All.

You decided to hide out from the sunlight,it's too bright. Just doesn't sit right with the rain you're feeling today. You're cloudy and gray..

2005-06-19T18:12:00.000-05:00

It's been a few days since I've updated, and I really can't give you all a good reason, other than I've been really lazy lately in the blogging department. Not that there was nothing to write about, but ever since I got back, I've been swamped with work and I really hate blogging about the crap from work unless it's funny or amusing. That should change though, as things at work are getting quite interesting...

But anyway...

This weekend is the first weekend in over a month that I have not done the following:

A) Got drunk.
B) Spent part of the weekend on a plane.
C) Spent the weekend away from home.

As much as I enjoy all of the above, my body, this week, has rebelled against me as I have been fighting a nasty summer cold which I undoubtedly caught on the plane ride back from Switzerland.

My lungs are filled with mucous and I feel like crap.

I haven't run in a week and a half, and I feel fat.

But at the very least, I got some badly needed rest this weekend even though things like keeping the apartment clean has fallen by the wayside.

I did go over the 'rent's house to cook my dad a steak so that was cool.

Oh, and I found out my brother is going to be free the first two weeks in July, and he'll be spending it in Madrid. Since I have to take those two weeks off anyway, I'm trying to find out a cheap way of getting out there.

Anyway, that's it for now.

Cheers.

I got a pocket full of change...

2005-06-14T20:07:00.000-05:00

I am back in the US.

I flew back yesterday and arrived around noon time back in the wonderful, if not extremely hot and humid, state of New Jersey. Instead of going home and crashing, I decided to go to work since I did not sleep well on the plane and wanted to stay awake in order to regain a decent circadian rythm.

Everytime I make one of these overseas trips, I always end up with anywhere form 10-20 USD worth of change in non-convertable coin currency. Right now, I have almost $20 worth or Euros and $10 worth of Swiss Francs rattling in my laptop bag. Add the $10 worth of Japanese coinage and I have a bunch of money I can't convert. Despite this, I decided that all those coins would make great Halloween give-aways for the kids. Who would not want to hold a 5 Swiss franc coin worth around $3.50? Besides, it beats giving away Cup-O-Noodle soups, which I gave away about a year or two ago.

There are a ton of stories I could tell about this past week, but I am really laggy right now and want to get some sleep.

Cheers.

Green means go, red means stop....

2005-06-12T15:09:00.000-05:00

My friend was not going to arrive in Madrid until later Saturday afternoon, so I decided to hop a train back to Madrid and take in more culture to pass the time. After an uneventful visit to Centro de Arte Reina Sofia (Modern Art Museum), I decided to walk up Calle Atocha to the Plaza Mayor to take in some sun and eat some tapas and beer.

I didn't notice earlier that when I was leaving Atocha Station to go to the museum, there were a number of green and white clad people walking the streets in ever increasing numbers. While I thought there must be a soccer match that day, I was not aware of how important of a soccer match it was.

As I walked down Atocha street, there were more of those green and white soccer fans walking in the same direction as I was, towards the Plaza Mayor. Since Atocha street doesn't enter the plaza directly, I had to negotiate some of the side streets to get there. But as I got closer to the plaza, I started to hear this raucous. The bars along the way were packed with the green and white clad fans whom I found out were the colors of Real Betis soccer club. They were cheering, clapping, banging drums, waving flags, and doing these chants that got the whole street in an uproar (except for us tourists who had no clue what was going on!)

This was down one of the side streets leading to the plaza.

When I get to the plaza, all I saw was a sea of green.

View from my table at the Plaza Mayor. A sea of green jerseys...

One group was so large they blocked one of the entrances to the plaza. These guys were well equipped with airhorns, green flares, and cherry bombs, which they would detonate at the most inopportune times.

Real Betis fans singing and flag waving, blocking one of the entrances to the Plaza Mayor.

I walked around a bit to find an eatery that was not crowded. Ordered a beer, a plate of calamari, and a plate of mussels, sat down and watched the crowd.

My lunch. Oh look! I need another beer!

I found out from the group of British tourists who were sitting at the table next to mine, that the Copa del Rey (King's Cup) final match between Real Betis and Osasuna was going to be played later that afternoon.

As we sat there, drinking the early afternoon hours away, I noticed a group of the R. Betis fans were hopping from one bar to the next across the way from where I was sitting. It was then I started to noticed a small blob of red-garbed individuals making their way to my bar/eatery. Must be the Osasuna dudes, I thought.

The Osasuna fans show up and march their way to the bar/eatery I was sitting at!

The Osasuna guys had their own marching band, and it got pretty loud outside the bar.

Osasuna chanting away outside the bar...

Funny thing was, as soon as those guys occupied the bar/eatery I was at, the rowdy group from across the plaza started to head over to the bar next to us. For the next hour, they'd trade chant after chant, cheer after cheer. Depsite their clost proximity and the large amount of public drunkeness displayed by both groups, no fights broke out between the two.

I know I've mentioned it a dozen or so times before, but I've never been able to get into spectator sports. I'd rather play the sport than watch it on TV where it seems, quite frankly, boring. However, there was so much energy in the plaza on Saturday, that I could not help but cheer along, despite the fact I know nothing about Spanish league soccer.

After a few hours of downing a few Estrellas and watching the soccer fans all throughout the plaza, I decided to head back to Torrejon and wait for my friend to arrive. I was pretty buzzed and tired and needed a nap anyway, as we were going to go out later that night and everyone knows, Madrid never really sleeps.

But that's another story...

Cheers all.

PS- Later that night we heard that Real Betis won the King's Cup.

He's a Senator, no he's the Governor, maybe he's both? Forget it, I never get these titles straight anyway...

2005-06-10T16:58:00.000-05:00

So Arlene put a wrench in my buddy's travel plans as his flight was delayed from yesterday to today, so he will not be in country until tomorrow (y'all got that straight now?)

Since I am staying 20 minutes outside of Madrid, I felt I might as well do some sightseeing and take in the culture instead of going on a drinking binge. One of the places I was told to see was the Museo del Prado which is the national art museum of Spain. Works by famous Spanish artists such as Velasquez, de Goya, and El Greco, are on display as well as some works from Rembrandt.

Now I am not a big art fan, but I am a history nut so this museum at least covers part of my likes and dislikes for what museums have to offer, plus, along the Paseo del Prado, there are other museums to take in if I so desire.

My inability to either speak or read Spanish forced me to cough up the 3 Euro cost for one of those hand held speaker boxes that describe in English some of the more treasured pieces the Prado has to offer.

One such example is the following de Goya piece...

de Goya's El 3 de Mayo en Madrid: Los fusilamiento en la mantana del Princepe Pio

I post this photo not because I really like the painting, but the story behind who I happen to run into while viewing it.

So there I was with the magic box close to my ear, hearing the expert interpretation of this piece (such as the white clad enlightened figure with his arms stretched out and stigmata on his palms signifying the execution was similar to a crucifiction....) when I hear a tour guide start to explain the piece in almost perfect English. The magic box was finished so I listened in on her explanations when I noticed she had a badge that was difference from what the other guides were emblazoned with.

"MUSEO OFFICIAL"

It said. I wondered why she was wearing such an honorable badge when I noticed this 6 foot plus dude in a suit and wearing a US flag pin on his lapel.

At first I thought it was ex-Senator Bill Bradley. I'm from NJ so I should know.

"It's Bill Bradley!" I said.

But I was wrong. It was NY governor George Pataki. Took me a while to figure out I was wrong.

I had to interrupt and shake his hand. No one else in the room knew who he was, I guess state governors don't get international recognition. I apologized for mistaking him for Bill Bradley. He smiled and continued with his tour.

As I was walking out of the room, I was still unsure if he was the governor. So I asked one of the dudes in the suits who was talking to some other museum official.

"There's a relationship between Spain and New York," the dude was saying. In the back of my head I though, "really, how?"

I interrupted and asked, "That's George Pataki, isn't it?"

"I would hope so," the dude replied. That was all the confirmation I needed.

I wandered the rest of the museum a bit worried that I may have let some cat out of the bag and now I may end up on some persona non grata list everytime I fly into JFK. They have ways of finding out who I am. But I am flying into Newark, so that may not be a problem.

But you never know.

Cheers all.

EasyJet! EasyJet! Take me away!

2005-06-09T18:54:00.000-05:00

Here's a novel concept: create a web-based discount air carrier, have it service a number of European cities, and make it so bare bones it's dirt cheap. That would be easyJet.com.

Excited that I could get from Geneva to Madrid for something like 200USD round trip, I could not pass up that deal. Since this is an air carrier that I have not flown before AND a foreign one as well, I followed the instructions on check in to the letter:

Free Seating easyJet does not allocate seats, and you can choose where to sit when you board the craft. The aircraft is boarded in priority order, however, so the earlier you check in, the more choice you will have!

*Stolen from the booking info I received.

Nervous about not having an adequate seating choice (I am a no middle seat person, aka the bitch seat) I showed up bright and early to check in for the GVA-MAD flight and spent the next two hours munching on a jambon-frommage (ham and cheese) sandwich and a beer pression (draft beer) among other things.

I do have to admit that the Swiss customs and immigrations department, in essence, does not exist. Leaving the country was as anticlimactic as entering it. When I entered the country, there was some guy who took you passport, flipped it to the page with your picture, looked at you, looked at the passport, and handed it back. No forms to fill out, no entering shit into the computer, and most of all, no stamp. Nothing. The same thing happened at the departure immigration booth. The guy just looked at me, looked at the passport and said, "Au reviour! Bon voyage!" It almost felt like he was saying, "Ok, now get the hell out of my country!" Could be worse, I could have been subjected to a finger print and a photo like in some countries.

Oh, on a side note, about the stamp thing... My passport expires next year, and since most countries will not let you enter their country within six months of expiration, I have less than a year to fill the last three pages in my passport. It's a goal of mine, and the fact that the Swiss never stamp, just irritated me!

Anyway, I digress...

There I am, waiting at the gate, happy in the knowledge that I am going to be boardee number 8 (it does day what number you are on your orange boarding pass) patiently awaiting to board the craft. When the time comes, the gate chick makes an announcement in French, and then all hell breaks loose. In the commotion, I do hear the numbers 1 and 32, in French, when I realize that the easyJet boarding policy is a bit more relaxed in Geneva than previously advertised. By the time I hear the English version which stated boarding numbers 1-32 NOW, there was a ton of people rushing the gate. There was no organized line, and there I was in the midst of this mass of people trying to board the plane, and all I can think of was, "man, I really wish some of these people used deoderant!"

I was not eighth to board the plane, I was thirtieth.

Didn't matter, though, as I was able to grab a window seat near the front of the plane. After that, I just popped the headphones on and slept the hour and half flight to Madrid.

Once I got to Madrid, getting to my hotel, which thankfully has broadband, was another adventure in itself.

But I'll save that for tomorrow. I am tired, and want to do some sightseeing before my friend flies in tomorrow.

Cheers all.

A lovely day on the lake....

2005-06-08T03:26:00.001-05:00

So I finally got to do some site seeing, even though it was sponsored by the conference. We took a boat onto Lake Leman and headed to Chateau Chillion for a dinner and free reign over the castle as if we were from the Savoy family in the 1500's.

Yours truly on the boat cruising Lake Leman with tasty beer in hand.

I can't deny the fact that there was an open bar on the boat as one of our vendors was sponsoring the boat ride. I had a couple of tasty local beers (I can not recall the name of them, though) while enjoying the view of the Swiss Alps.

Chateau Chillion was our destination.

It took about an hour to get to the chateau from St. Sulpice, but the destination was worthy of a photograph or two.

Our paddle wheel boat.

"Yes, I speak English" despite being from Spain.

Our guide through the castle (the other guides spoke French or German) was this cute chick from Spain who happened to also converse in Italian as well. The castle was really cool. I kept taking pictures and the British sales guy, John, was like, "I take it that this is your first trip to Europe..." I asked him if he's been here before, and he said, "Man, I'm from the UK, we got a shitload of castles over there. You see one, you see them all!"

I can agree with that.

Riiiiiiicolaaaaaaaah!

After I saw this guy, I was in need of a throat lozenge. I wonder how he gets that thing on planes. Oh wait, it comes apart, never mind.

Weapons in the castle. I'm an American so we like weapons 'cause we like war!

Our guide was very knowledgable on midieval infantry tactics as she accurately described the usage of the halbard and the bill polearm weapons. Okay, maybe it was scripted but it was impressive nonetheless!

The yodelling band. The chick on the left only played spoons, a freaking box, and a bowl with a coin rattling in it. I think she went to Julliard in NYC.

Lastly, we had dinner in the hall while the yodelling band played in the background. A bunch of the Swiss attendees stated to do something that looked like country line dancing. It was quite amusing.

Overall it was a pretty cool excursion, even though I was disappointed they did not serve beer at the castle. Maybe that was a good thing.

Tomorrow I head over to Spain, so I may not be able to post until Sunday night. So until then, enjoy the pics!

Cheers all!

Sunny, finally!

2005-06-07T06:30:00.000-05:00

It's sunny outside, around 70 degrees F (I can't convert to celcius in my head), and I just couldn't stand staying indoors.

The weather has turned for the better and I can't wait to go on the boat excursion to some lakeside chateau the conference organizers have planned for the attendees. Figure an hour and a half boat ride on Lake Leman will do me some good, as should the cocktail hour on the boat.

Things I have started to appreciate out here:
1) Stronger, yet better tasting coffee. Even the insta-pack expresso machine cofee here tastes better than home. Although after lunch today, I was craving a latte from Starbucks.

2) Better beer. It's nice to have a selection of brews that actually have flavor. In fact, one of the Brit sales guys was explaining to me that we in the states serve our beers way too cold, and that beer starts having flavor at close to room temperature. I don't know about that but some of the brews out here are quite tasty.

3) Funny cars. Ever see three 6' 3" European guys and a 5' 4" Asian dude try to fit into a Twingo? It's actually quite amusing. Since our hotel sits on the shore of Lake Leman, we have to go uphill in order to get into town. I swear, the car almost did not make it yesterday morning. Thank goodness, the French sales guy exchanged the Twingo for a larger car later that day. If a car is too small for me, then you know you're in trouble.

4) This is probably not a European thing, rather than an outside the US thing, but women who study the hard sciences. I was shocked at the number of women who are attending this conference who are actually attractive. Granted, they are still small in number, but compared to some of the other conferences I've been to, their attendence here dwarfs all the other conferences. I'm just happy that H, the cute redheaded Swede is here. I haven't seen or talked with her in a while. Not that anything will happen, but she is fun to talk to.

That's about it for now. I want to head back to my hotel early so I can get out of thes business clothes for the boat trip.

Cheers All.

Switzerland Trip Day 2: Morning run....

2005-06-06T04:12:00.000-05:00

After the reception last night, I went drinking with one of the sales dudes from the European office. One of the problems with the city I'm in is it's build upon the side of a hill. So if you need to get somewhere, such as the city center, you have to walk uphill. Not that I would have a problem with that, but the sales dude, John, is a portly Brit, finds the concept of walking uphill to a bar unappealing. We settled for a cafe down by the train station which is conveniently located at the bottom of the hill. Those beers did help me get some sleep.

I went for a run this morning around 6:30 AM and the first thing I noticed: everything was quiet. I'm used to the occasional morning run at home and there's usually a lot of activity happening at that hour in the morning: people going to work, walking their dogs, etc. However, this morning the only person on the road was myself. The only sound I heard was the occasional bird. Felt quite eerie and strange.

At breakfast this morning I was treated with this view:

View of Lausanne from St. Sulpice

I hope the overcast clouds break up today. We're supposed to have a boat tour of the lake and it would be nice to have some sun for it.

Off to the conference and a day spent listening to invited speakers and standing at the company booth.

Cheers all.

I hate Heineken, but hell, it's free!

2005-06-05T13:41:00.000-05:00

As an engineer, I appreciate examples of good engineering sense. Creating a plate that can hold a friggin' wine glass is just brilliant. But why deny the beer drinker in all of us from this wonderfull invention?

Great for wine glasses, but not for the beers

The reception is going well, the food is quite tasty if you like beef and pork. I thought it was amusing that no one from my company wanted to make a speech. We just hung around the open bar.

Cheers all!

It's like being in a Walmart, you hear five different languages, like at the fucking UN!

2005-06-05T10:19:00.000-05:00

I really should be doing some official work, but my hotel does not have any broadband and I'm sitting at my company's booth using the Wifi graciously set up by the people at the Swiss Federal Polytechnic Institute.

My hotel sits on the shore of Lake Lucerne with a view of the Alps and it's within walking distance of the Institute. However, it's pretty far away from the downtown area where all the eateries, shops, and site seeing stuff so it's a push whether or not I'd rate it as a good location.

This being my first trip to Europe, I have to admit it does not feel as foreign as some of the other places I've been. Granted everything is written in four different languages and I'm using what little French I know from 13 years ago (mostly to say "Do you speak English?" and "Excuse me"). But's it's easy to get around and the people seem friendly.

I am dead tired from flying all night and then finding my way down to Lausanne (which was easy once I got my bearings). Now I have to hang around the welcome reception my company has set up. What fun.

Cheers all.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go...

2005-06-04T09:55:00.000-05:00

Everything's packed. Talk to you all when I get to Switzerland.

Cheers.

I love you though you hurt me so, Now I'm going to pack my things and go...

2005-06-03T19:24:00.000-05:00

The washer is running, the dryer is drying, and my large suitcase is open on the floor with a mass of clothing that needs to be folded and packed. In less than 24 hours, I'll be on a plane bound for Europe.

As usual, I have a plan to make sure I'll be able to sleep on the overnight flight to Geneva. For the trans-Pacific flights, I'd just stay up all night and be dead tired for the flight over the US and just drink myself to sleep for the 10+ hour trans-Pacific flight. This flight's at six, so I'll have to eat my dinner and then down a few vodka tonics to knock me out. I should be good to go when I arrive at 8AM for a full day of shaking hands and hob-nobbing with our customers.

But until then, here's the plan for the next 24 hours....

1) First I have to do laundry as my company won't tolerate my old standby of packing dirty clothes and just having the hotel do my laundry for me. The trip is too short to allow me to expense laundry. DAMMIT! So some washing and ironing is in store for me tonight and while I'm doing that...

2) I update the Ipod with some new music I'm downloading because the Shure E2C headphones I have are great for eliminating the drone of the jet engines I'll be subjected to for over eight hours. The battery should be good enough but just in case...

3) I bought the Belkin Battery Backup today during lunch as I had to run some minor errands such as pay the rent and utilities for my apartment. I wish I had that item when I flew to Japan as the battery on the Ipod died as I was waiting in Immigration at Kansai. But...

4) The laptop and associated accessories are packed in the bug-out bag my brother got me before he shipped off to Germany to serve his tour of active duty as a Military Policeman. That bag is fucking awesome as I can fit shit like my...

5) Toiletries are going to be carried on the plane as I always have this fear of having my suitcase lost and ending up in Africa instead of my destination. Happened once already and that's why I hate any airline with the word WEST in it. Such as NorthWEST, SouthWEST, and America WEST. But I am flying Continental and they have treated me well so far and I haven't had any...

6) Problems I usually have carrying toiletries is the EpiPen I carry just in case some nut opens a package of peanuts next to me. My carry-on ALWAYS gets searched, but the geniuses at the TSA almost never find it. I'll have the script with me so I should be covered on that aspect.

7) The passport, itinerary, and hotel information, are in a folio that I'll have in the bug-out bag. It's a thick folio and it serves as a flat surface so the backpack fits snug against the back as I hate it when my...

8) Bags will be packed by like 10 or 11 tonight so I'll be able to get to bed early. I did want to go out tonight but I really wanted to get up early to run. Plus, you never know if you forgot to pack something, and I like to have a little time to...

9) Stop by Johnson park around noon time to say high to the running club as the Train Run should be finishing and I wanted to wish them well. Maybe I could grab a burger for lunch. I can't hang around for too long as the limo is supposed to...

10) Pick up is scheduled at 3:30pm which should bring me to Newark Liberty International Airport (EWR) at around 4:15pm. I'll grab a bite to eat as I wait to board the 767 just in case the food service takes too long or doesn't have something I like to...

11) Eat the crappy dinner on the plane, but then I already told you about this part.

Sounds pretty well planned out, huh?

I should have broadband access at EFPL in Lausanne, so I should be able to update the bliggity blog with some nice pictures. I'm not so sure about Madrid, but we'll see.

Cheers all, I have some packing to do...

Had to leave myself behind, and I've been flying high all night. So come pick me up, I've landed...

2005-06-01T21:04:00.000-05:00

I received the program for the conference/vacation I'll be leaving for on Saturday. Since my poster was technically a post deadline submission, it looks as though my poster will be in one of the last sessions on Wednesday. I also have to attend the user/information meeting my company is holding on Monday as I am one of the "expert technical staff" or so the email invites to our customers had said. This leaves me Tuesday all day and Wednesday night to explore Lausanne.

As the date of departure approaches, I am getting really excited about this trip. As usual, the rumor mill at work has people asking me with ever increasing frequency how I was able to pull a trip like this. "Well, I'm not the only one going, and besides, last year I was passed over for the Hawaii trip and went to Kagoshima instead!" I'd reply. Not that Kagoshima, Japan, wasn't nice, but Hawaii would have been better.

This is one of those trips that I really wish I wasn't single. There have been a number of trips I've taken with other engineers where they've flown their girlfriends or significant others out using the miles they've built up (and I have to appreciate my company of allowing us to keep the frequent flier miles since we don't pay for the tickets unlike some government workers I know). Granted, it's those same guys that follow the infamous 50 mile/80 kilometer rule of "what's done in [insert country or state of your choice] stays in [same country or state]" Hell, even I'm guilty of that.

But how could you beat a vacation for two for technically half the price? Instead of buying two plane tickets, one is already expensed. Man, I really wish I took advantage of that. Oh well, woulda coulda shoulda I guess.

I will be missing the Towpath Train Run that my running club is holding on Saturday. I've lead the slow train for the past two years and regret not leading it this year. While I can technically run in the event, I really don't want to run 20 miles and then sit as a coach class bitch for an eight hour flight. Sorry, Ray!

And speaking of running a marathon... Due to my laziness, I have officially taken myself out of the running for the NYC Marathon lottery since the application deadline expired yesterday. Looks like I'll probably try to run Philly, Marine Corps, or even Chicago. Ask me again in a few weeks when I take my training seriously.

I really wanted to run with my running club tonight, as the weather was awesome. But the fact that I spent almost an hour using a self contained breathing apparatus and coming home covered in arsenic dust made me want to shower above all things. At least I get to go climbing tomorrow.

Cheers all.

Man what a dream, it sure felt great. Took to the streets, 'cause I couldn't wait. To freely give wisdom and share what I knew...

2005-05-31T18:46:00.000-05:00

I often wonder what I would do if I won a million dollars.

I made my decision today as I read this:

Man 1/2 Way in Quest to Visit 1,000 Bars

07:13 PM EST May 29, 2005
Associated Press

NEW YORK
A bit of barroom philosophy, courtesy of Dan Freeman: The longest journey begins with but a single sip. Freeman should know. The Brooklynite set out Jan. 1 to visit 1,000 bars in a single year, a cocktail lounge quest that began with one scotch and soda in Mike's Pelham Grill.

Barely five months and 499 bars later, the Don Quixote of drink is halfway to completing his boozy impossible dream.

The best part of this guy's quest is that he blogs about it. Go visit his blog here. He doesn't even have to drink much to accomplish his goal.

Freeman is quick to observe this is no 12-month bender. He generally has but one drink in a bar. He never counts the same bar twice, and each place must have an actual bar where he can sit and order a drink. A cocktail with dinner, seated at a table, is invalid.

"If you stop to think, I'm drinking 3 or 4 beers a day," he said. "I'm not pounding down a fifth. It sounds like a lot more alcohol consumption than it is."

He even visited one of my old haunts Marita's Cantina in good old New Brunswick.

Given his current pace, Freeman hopes to finish his work early. Tentative plans are for a midtown Manhattan visit to bar No. 1,000 on Dec. 4, his 61st birthday, although he remains philosophical about that, too.

"It's like somebody posted on my blog ... 'If you don't have a dream, how can you make a dream come true?'" Freeman said. "I'm not sure exactly how that translates to this, but OK."

Man, if only I had the time and the money...

Cheers all.

Nevermind the green grass you won't mow, what it is you have or don't to show, what it is you have or can't afford, the good are good without reward..

2005-05-30T21:34:00.000-05:00

I'm glad that my friend Hertz decided against buying an Acura TL and went for the Infinity G35, which happens to be my dream car. I was getting annoyed at his mathematical formula which he used to decide which car was the best. Even the best mathematicians in the world could not figure out his little formula. However, the thought of retiring the Honda has crossed my mind and although I have mentioned before that I am avoiding Acura as a car choice, the TSX is looking really nice.

Why do I have a thing against Acura?

It has to do with the fact that they market their cars for specific age groups.

When you graduate college, and are looking for a car with some gusto and looks, you go for their RSX line. It's the car for the 21-27 year old who needs a hatchback to cart around all the crap you own since you don't want to settle down anywhere yet.

When you finally settle down for a career and are looking for an extry level luxury car with some gusto and looks, you upgrade to the TSX. It's just enough to remind you that you're young, professional, and still single, since the back seat is not big enough for a child seat.

When you find that woman or man of you dreams and pop out a few offspring, the TL, which is a larger version of the TSX with a bigger engine, becomes the car of choice. It's roomy and quick with all the trappings of a luxury sedan, and it has a back seat big enough for that child seat.

When you've made it to middle age and want to drive around in style, yet look young, you go for the RL or the MDX.

Being on the southern end of the "Northeast", I would prefer a car with all wheel drive for better traction and safety. My other choice would be the Subaru Legacy GT LE. But if I scrape up enough money, the G35 would be a fantastic car.

If only I didn't have an aversion to having any sort of debt or long term payment would I go for the car of my dreams. God forbid, I decide to go buy a house!

And then there's the thorny legal issues I must resolve before I even think of buying a car. But we'll see.

Hope you all had a great Memorial Day Weekend.

Cheers.

Now I've got that needle that I can't shake, and I can't bleed. I take it away, but I want more and more. One day I'm going to lose the war...

2005-05-26T22:17:00.000-05:00

I was lounging outside of my lab drinking a cup of coffee that I had obtained from the coffee pot in the cafeteria when someone made the comment, "What, no Starbuck's today?"

I smirked, "No, Junior wanted to get back ASAP after lunch as he had some paperwork to do."

I really hate the coffee that the company provides. It's a Chock Full O' Nut's blend that just tastes absolutely horrible and leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. I used to think it was the water that is used to brew the vile concoction, but when I pilfered a bag to brew at home, I realized that it's just a bad brand of coffee.

Lately, though, I've been drinking it more than the latte or two I normally get from the 'Bucks or the large regular I get from Dunkin Donuts (known as the 'Nuts). Put enough CoffeeMate in the cup and it almost tastes like a latte, albeit one that tastes like plastic.

But I realized today that my addiction to caffeine is costing me more dollar-wise than my old smoking habit For example, I used to smoke a pack a day at a rough cost of about $5.50 a pack. My current coffee habit is a 20 oz cup of WaWa or Quick Check coffee (about $1.10) in the morning, then a grande latte from the 'Bucks at lunch (rack that up to be $3.29), and usually I'll be up and about most nights doing some errand and lo and behold, I'll drive by a 'Bucks or a 'Nuts and get another $1.89 to $3.29 cup of caffeinated goodness to keep me up just long enough to do the blogging thing or the IM chat thing till I fall asleep.

In the end I'm averaging something like $6+ on coffee a day. Even when I brew my own in the morning, you could subtract the $1.10 and I'd still be rivaling my smoking habit.

Then again, caffeine will not give me an increased chance of lung, throat, and stomach cancer that smoking will. Plus, my running would suffer if I ever decided to go back to my pack a day habit. But then again, caffeine may increase insulin resistance which may explain why I eat so much and have trouble losing weight.

As far as I can remember, which ends up being the start of college, I've always had some sort of stimulant circulating through my blood. I never smoked in college, but the Student Center had a deal on coffee refills (a quarter for a refill, what a deal!) that I was averaging something like 10 cups a day. Not bad for an engineering student.

Fast forward to my trips to Asia, and you'd see my coffee intake was reduced to a bare minimum but I was doing the whole pack a day thing since that's what everyone did out there.

I finally quit in '01, but then caffeine replaced nicotine as the legalized stimulant of choice.

Thank God I haven't discovered real drugs.

And as I sit here, I can feel the kidney stones form as I type this.

Maybe this is why I always have trouble sleeping. Hmmmmm....

Cheers.

You're riding high in April, shot down in May. But I know I'm gonna, gonna change that tune, 'cause I'll be back on top, back on top in June...

2005-05-25T20:39:00.000-05:00

As much as I complain about how much I hate where I work, every once and a while, a bright ray of sunshine brightens up my day.

Since I finished my poster late yesterday, I really didn't have much I needed to get done immediately, so I decided to wrap up some minor projects at work. My boss stopped by the lab to see what I was up to and plan the next campaign of experiments that I needed to start over the next few weeks. Towards the end of the conversation, I asked him if I could take a few days off after the conference to meet up with a friend in Madrid, Spain.

"Oh yeah, definately! You're in one of the most beautiful countries on the planet, Switzerland, I'd expect you to take a few days off!"

What a pleasant surprise given I had just taken a few days off this past week. The reality of the situation is that I have five work weeks worth of vacation days and the corporate bigwigs have decreed that the research group must use ALL those days this year.

Not only do I get to go to a conference in Lausanne, Switzerland for a few days, but I get to spend a few days in Spain as well. Hopefully my poster presentation is early in the conference, so I could do some exploration of the city and surroundings instead of hanging around in a suit. Plus, one of my cousin's friends, this chick C, spent a year in Lausanne and gave me a download on where to go in the city.

SWEET!

Cheers all.

Think everything's fine in the big time, see me in my Lex with chrome raised high...

2005-05-24T22:53:00.000-05:00

So I learned today that since I do not have a PhD. in some sort of engineering/science degree, I do not get to proudly display my middle initial when I publish or present my work. Hmmmm....

I should have expected this to happen. I noticed this weekend when they were giving out the JD degrees at my cousin's graduation, everybody, and I mean everybody, had to have their full names, first middle and last, announced for all the world to hear.

I am lucky enough to have two middle names. One being Joseph, for what reason I have no idea why my parents chose that for my middle name and the other is my mom's maiden name.

For the longest time, I used my mom's maiden name as my middle name. Sometime in my teens, I switched over to Joseph for reasons I can not remember. On my diploma, it has Joseph as my middle name, and I can't recall if at graduation they announced my full name. I wasn't paying attention at the time, I was too busy trying not to trip on my way to pick up the diploma.

Today, as I finished up the presentation which would be printed up as a research poster, I noticed that mine and Wiggums' names were curiously devoid of a middle initial, while my boss' and Big Dong's were proudly displayed.

Must be the whole PhD. thing. They have PhD's.

Not that I really care. I'm just happy that I'll have the spotlight for a few brief moments in my field. Wiggums gets the honor of an actual oral presentation when he heads off to Big Sky, Montana, to present the second half of our work. I'm not jealous, as I get to go to Switzerland and he doesn't. Besides, presenting is not that hard for me, it's fielding all the questions from people who've spent half their adult lives learning this shit in school that's difficult.

I realized today that one of the papers I was proofreading for one of the Russian Mobsters failed to have my name or Wiggums' name on the credits, as almost all the data comes from the work we've been doing for the past half year. Now that bugs the crap out of me. Not only do I have to correct this guy's poor English skills, but he's using data that he needs ME to interpret for him. Fucking PhD's.

Looking at the list of names on the paper, I noticed they were all PhD's.

That damn PhD. thing again.

Cheers all.

Look at all those fancy clothes, but these could keep us warm just like those.

2005-05-24T00:03:00.000-05:00

I made the mistake this weekend of going shopping with my cousin Lisa on Friday at the Galleria after the awards luncheon her school put on. I was originally given a choice between going to the mall or going to the Museum of Natural History. I had opted for the latter as I am a museum nerd. But I was overruled by the majority; plus my other cousin, Lee, had commented, "C'mon couya (means cousin), you're just a little bit metro, I can tell. So how can you resist the mall?" I relented, and off we went.

While waiting patiently outside of Zara, I headed over to Express to see if I could pick up a shirt for Saturday night since that was when I was to take my cousins out for some drinky drinky fun.

I had mentioned to her that I was on a mission NOT to buy a striped button down shirt only because of this article. Admittidly, I progressed from checkered shirts, to stripes, and now I was looking for something that DIDN'T look like either and DIDN'T make me look like every other yokel out there. My god, I said yokel! Since I was in Houston, I could have opted for a cowboy hat and boots, and how many Asian dudes have you ever seen in that get up?

I ended up not buying anything as I remembered a little thing called sales tax. However, while at the store, I commented on how the sales associates try to make the shirts look better than they really are by pinning the backs of the shirts so they hug the dummies form better.

I told Lee, "See, they fucking lie to you. You look at the shirt, go 'hmm, that looks good', buy it, then it hangs off of you making you look like a fat retard."

In my quest to lose the fat I gained from college and years of living out of a suitcase, I've progressed to ever smaller sizes. I wore larges to hide the gut, then switched to mediums because the fit my shoulders better, then finally to smalls because I got much thinner and I hate baggy cloths. But now I see this disturbing trend of smalls fitting like mediums and so forth. Ahh, the American obsession with making us feel better through lying about sizes (kind of like ordering a tall at the 'Bucks because NOBODY likes to say 'small latte, please!'). So now, these shirts fit my shoulders properly, ala Brian's post on how shirts should fit, but they hang way too loosely on the sides. Bastards!

Ends up I did have something to wear Saturday night, my yellow Nautica polo that was unfortunately destroyed by a flood of Vodka and undigested spinach later that night.

Lisa's comment on my dress was, "No striped shirt, good. But you have the shiney black duck shoes that everyone wears!"

DAMMIT! I can never win. My vanity will be my undoing.

Cheers

Every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you...

2005-05-23T21:04:00.000-05:00

Don't you hate it when family members make you wonder about them sometimes?

After Lisa's graduation, the reception was held in the Grand Ballroom of the hotel I was staying. Her brother Lee was resourceful enough to leave the graduation ceremony a bit early to save a table for the family, aunts, uncles, and myself. It was good that he did that as the number of tables available for the hundreds of grads and their families was woefully short.

Lunch was served buffet style and we all pigged out as we weren't going to have dinner until late. AFterwards, over coffee, I was sitting with my cousins Lee, Peter, and some of Lisa's friends from Austin when my cousin Peter and I started talking about websites.

"Cousin JC, you should check this website out..." he said. He seemed a bit excited.

"What is it?" I asked as I stuffed a piece of cake in my mouth.

"Zabasearch.com. It's cool man, you can enter anyone's name and it will pull up their last address and phone number..."

His eyes were wide as saucers.

"Sounds a bit freaky, dude," I said.

"It is! I put my name in and my addresses from the past 10 years came up. So I started to put my old classmates in and looked them up!"

"Stalking you're old roomates, huh?" I asked. I slowly started to edge my seat away from him, inch by inch.

"Yeah, I was able to get in contact with some of my college buddies that way. You could even put in names of old girlfriends..." he added.

"Stalker!" my cousin Lee interjected.

Don't take my wrong, my cousin Peter is a great guy. Sometimes he gets too excited over the wrong things (like this), but overall a nice fellow. Just don't give him your real name...

Cheers.

When the night takes a deep breath, and the daylight has no end. If I crawl, I come crawling home, will you be there?

2005-05-23T11:50:00.000-05:00

I really should have my cousin guest blog this entry for me as getting my drunk ass back to the hotel seemed like a story to tell the masses. But alas, his computer is on the fritz and my histrionic side would rather tell the story than have you guys hear it from a third, if not sober, party.

My cousin graduated from law school yesterday, and I decided to fly down to Houston to wish her well. Besides, it's been five years since I had seen either of them and it would be nice catch up and have a few drinks in the process.

After the obligatory dinner with the aunts and uncles, we decided to head over to Dave and Busters to hang out since it was too early to show up to the clubs in Downtown Houston. Now this is a place that appeals to the geeky alcoholic in me: an arcade that serves alcohol. After a couple of hours of playing video games, free throw shooting, and shuffle board, a group of us consisting of yours truly, my cousins Lee and Lisa, and their friends, headed to Main Street to finish off the night with some liquor and dancing.

I had promised to pick up the tab for the night, and that left the responsibility of finding a proper place for me to buy the group drinks was left to my younger cousin Lee. They were intrigued with all the stories of my younger years (and more recent adventures) and wanted to find out first hand what I really was like out on the road.

The first club we went to had a huge line (I would tell you the name, but that part of my memory was wiped out along with some IQ points and some odd memories of childhood with all the vodka I imbibed that night), and we strolled down Main Street to find another place we could hang out at.

We settled upon a club named Opus.

True to my word and immediately after entering the club, I headed over to the bar, slapped down my credit card and ID, and started a tab. The waitress, whom I believe her name was Janet, was this Sandra Oh look alike with a Texan accent that seemed so sexy. The drinks were ordered; I had my usuall Goose and tonic, while my cousin Lisa had a shot of Petrone (which happens to be a very tasty Tequila). I think a Long Island Ice Tea and a Cape Cod was thrown in the mix for some of her friends.

On the dance floor, there was this old guy who for some reason or another was dancing a tango or waltz by himself weaving in and out of the different groups of people. All night he was doing this and not once did he decide to hit on any of the chicks that were on the floor. Didn't matter what music was playing, he was in his own little world. One of the guys that was with us decided to ask the bouncer who this dude was and found out that this guy does this every Friday and Saturday night.

We only stayed at the club for about an hour and a half, but during that time I had about five of those Goose and tonics with my cousin matching me with her Petrone shots. When I closed out the tab, the Sandra Oh look alike started to complain about how I was shorting her with the tip. Now I was in no condition to do any mathematical calculations in my head, and instead of being a prick and walking away, I upped the tip a little bit more. The total bill including my tip was upwards of $160, so there may have been a miscalculation or she could have just been giving a drunk a hard time.

We left the club, and that's where I started to fall apart. I pretty much blacked out.

But from what my cousin Lee told me this morning over a bowl of Vietnamese Pho noodles, the following happened:

1) I essentially lost the ability to walk around two blocks from the club.
2) They had to do a car shuffle and should have left me sitting on the park bench instead of driving me around because:
2) I threw up which "ended the existance" of the nice Nautica shirt I was wearing (and I liked that shirt, dammit!). I had to take the shirt of which left me:
3) sitting in his Toyota Forerunner, shirtless, as he ran up to my hotel room to fetch me a tee shirt to wear and then
4) my cousin Lisa threw up but that's not so bad 'cause
5) my inability to walk and refusal to lean on my cousin made getting me up to the room rather difficult.

I awoke later that morning with my cell phone ringing.

That pretty much sums up what I'm like on the road...

Cheers.

Streetlights shine through the shades, casting lines on the floor, and lines on his face. He reflects on the day...

2005-05-17T18:42:00.000-05:00

I was getting quite irritated at lunch today. Breadman, Stan the Man, June Bug, Wiggums, and myself hit the local Chinese Buffet, and all the four of them wanted to talk about is work. I escape work at lunchtime because I don't want to be there, and to invade lunchtime with inconsequential crap like that just bothers me.

But I am deviating from my intended post.

It's not hard to see that bloggers tend to be great story tellers, and I always felt it takes some sort of intelligence to be able to tell a yarn about everyday life and make it somewhat interesting. True, I do I have a lot of stories of my bouts of drunkeness and those stories, if and when I can remember them, can be quite funny. But If I can relate an everyday occurance and make someone giggle at it, well, I did my job.

Often times, I find myself in a situation where I break out my travel stories from my early twenties and captivate a group with my exploits. My stories aren't as interesting or raunchy as some of my engineering buddies or my friend from childhood, but they are good none the less and they are mine. Sometimes, I hear someone say that I am lucky to be able to do what I did when I was younger, especially the fact I did it for free, and most of the time I agree.

There was this elderly gent that my friend and I had the chance to run into while lounging at the pool at his dad's condo complex. This man, we later found out was nicknamed Sully, was in his 80's and he had overheard our poolside conversation about some of the places that Joe and I have been individually and places we would like to visit in the future. As we were heading back to the deck chairs to dry off, Sully said he was listening to all the places we've been and remarked he was a bit envious, in a good way he added, of what we were able to do when we were younger. My friend stepped away for a bit to go to the restroom and get something to drink, in the meantime, I spoke a while with the kind gent.

I fell into my standard routine and started to talk about myself, what I've been up to these past years, where I work, and where I've been. Sully told me about his son in law who did something similar to what I did and, again, told me how he thought it was great that I was able to go the places I've been to and so on and so forth. Towards the end of that conversation, Joe had returned with some drinks and he joined in.

After a while of talking about ourselves, we started to learn more about Sully. He was at D-day as a coxswain on a Higgins boat, delivering soldiers to the beaches at Omaha. His grasp of the events of that fateful day was fantastic, and his knowledge of the behind the scenes action, learned through avid reading of the day after the fact, was encyclopedic. He told us how horrible the scene was, with bodies everywhere and how confusing the whole situation on the beachhead was. I was completely enthralled.

After the war, he became a teacher and police officer in the city of Chicago. He lived through the race riots in the 50's and 60's, and he was there for the convention riot. But the fact he was part of the security detail for Dr. Martin Luther King, I thought, was the most remarkable aspect of his life. He began to tell us how much respect he had for Dr. King, and how he saw how much strength of character and conviction Dr. King had despite the animosity and hatred some people had for him. Sully considered him a great man.

As I sat there listening to this man's life story, I began to reflect on what he had said earlier about how he was envious of what my friend and I have been able to do. In retrospect, after hearing his story, I realized there was no need for him to feel that way. He lived through some of the greatest times in our last century, and that is worth more than any story I have about Taiwan or any other place I've been or seen. In fact, I was a bit jealous of his life.

Cheers.

You know he got the cure, you know he went astray. He used to stay awake to drive the dreams he had away...

2005-05-16T17:12:00.000-05:00

I should have taken them up on their offer.

So what if I would have gotten into work much later today? I would have had $400 dollars in my pocket and a hotel to stay at with meals and the whole she-bang-a-bang. I could have just gone to work straight from the airport.

I was lucky enough to have the gate for my flight back to Newark be situated next to the Budweiser stand at the airport, and they were offering pints of Sam Adams. Combine two pints and a bag of Jalepeno potato chips, and it made watching the counter chicks beg for volunteers to give up their seats really fun to watch.

In the years of travelling, I never considered delaying my return for a bribe of money or airline credit. If you think about it, I should have taken up the offers when I was travelling for my company because that's like free money. And so what if I am late for work the next day, they'll understand. It was an oversold flight.

It was amusing to watch the counter chicks explain the concept of oversold to this lady who was trying to get on the plane. I was on line already, head buzzing from downing the Sammy's to quickly, and she was arguing with the head counter chick.

"But I have a reservation and a confirmed ticket!" she said.

"Ma'am, I don't have a seat to give you! We've been asking, no, begging people to give up their seats for money and accomodations..."

"But I don't understand.... How can it be oversold?"

The head counter chick started to explain. It's very simple. In the age of cell phones, wireless blue/black berries, internet, and 800 numbers, it's real easy to cancel change your flight plans before you check in. Half my co-workers can relate a story where they were told not to go on thier trip on the way to the airport. Even I was able to rebook a flight that my connection arrived late for as I waited on line for a United CS agent with my cell phone four years ago! And these money grubbing airlines lose money for ever empty seat, so it makes some sense to overbook a flight just enought to handle the "uncertain" people. I bet you they have some PhD. level math dude or dudette to figure out just what percentage to overbook.

Needless to say, this woman was very frustrated. As I was handing my ticket over to the dude at the gate, I overheard her getting the $400 bucks, hotel, meals, and transportation deal. So I think it worked out in the end.

On a side note:

As I was relating my weekend experience to Wiggums, I remembered something that happened while at that State Park shooting range.

First off, you get to the gate and my buddy jumped out of Lincoln and stuffed $6 into an envelope and stuffed it into a mailbox. That was a bit sketchy.

So we'e there plinking away with his 22 long rifle and to our left was this family with a granpa, a son, a grandson, and the silent friend. They had a 22 long rifle also and were plinking away as well. They also had what looked to be an old west style revolver that was loud as a motherfucker.

To our right, was his elderly gent, a Frenchie, who had this hunting rifle that had a report that could wake up the dead. The friggin thing was so powerful, when he shot it, it would not only scare the shit out of us despite wearing ear plugs, but it kept knocking his hat off of his head!

So the grandpa to our left starts blasting away at these orange and black clay targets they set up on the ground, missing with every other shot, when this Park Ranger showed up.

God bless this Park Ranger. I would never show up to a hick place like this without being armed with something, as he was definately not packing at the time.

"Excuse me, sir, but did you read this sign," he said pointing to the sign at the entrance to the range we were at. It was riddled with buckshot. At first I thought he asked the man if he could read (he looked like a hick, you never know). If he said that he would have been shot.

"Yes, sir," grandpa replied. His family stopped what they were doing and watched the conversation. So did I.

"Well, it says to shoot at only the posted targets and not at the ground. How do you know that you won't hit a rock and a ricochet will go off and hit some hiker, birdwatcher, or biker. Other people use this preserve, please be considerate."

With that, I started to wonder how stupid that whole situation was. Especially with Frenchie to our right who had a rifle that could possibly go for miles, why the hell would you have anyone NEAR this place doing innocuous activities like birdwatching while risking them getting hit by a stray round. I know if the rules are followed no one gets hurt but in my mind, either make it a shooting range, or make it a park, but not both.

Just too funny...

Cheers all.

In a little while, I won't be blown by every breeze, Friday night running to Sunday on my knees...

2005-05-15T22:20:00.000-05:00

So I get into Ft. Myers and see my buddy whom I haven't shook his hand in over four years...

"You haven't eaten yet? No? Well, my friend, you're blood sugar will be so low by 5PM you'll eat anything..." he tells me as we drive away in the Licoln he rented for the weekend.

First place he takes me was a shooting range where he bought his Taurus 24/7 9mm. Due to Florida law, he could not take the pistol home with him until the standard 3 day waiting period was over, but we were able to shoot the pistol at the firing range. This was no ordinary target practice as my friend needs to learn how to do combat shooting since he spends a lot of time in warzones. So yours truly learned how to snap shoot.

I've shot pistols before when I was in Texas. But that was not the normal, point, aim, and shoot a target. This was practicing for a gunfight. Step into position, extend the weapon, fire two quick shots, and step back. Any hit on the target was considered good, and tight groupings were what we were striving for. Please don't take this as a signal that I am a violent man, but I admired how the steps we went trough is like any physical training, try to induce muscle memory into the mix. Make pointing and shooting as natural as possible. Fascinating, if not weird.

After about an hour, we headed to a Flordia State nature preserve, where, coincidentally, there was a firing range. It was there we did some plinking with my friend's .22 long rifle. But the highlight of the afternoon was doing some clay shooting with the 12 Guage that my friend bought at, you guessed it, Wallmart.

Once you get the hang of leading the clay, clay shooting isn't that hard. It's just that shooting a 12 Guage really fucking hurts. It doesn't help that we had game rounds instead of target rounds which we learned aren't as powerfull. But it felt as though someone was punching me in the shoulder each time. And we did this for 35 shots each. I could barely move my arm afterwards!

After our fill of sadomasochistic clay shooting, we headed back to Ft. Myers for some happy hour drinks at this place called Dwyre's. A couple of pints of Guinnes later along with staring at the waitresses (whom one of them was named Jenn), we were ready for dinner.

We picked up his dad, and ate a fantastic meal at this little joint called Sasse's.

It was then off to Miami!

The flight, the shooting, and the beers, along with the heavy meal, made me sleep during the drive down Alligator Alley (I-75), but we pulled into Miami around midnight. After having some trouble finding parking, we ditched the Licoln and headed out to Ocean Drive.

Not giving away any details, 'cause frankly I can't remember much, Ocean Drive was phenomenally active with people. We hopped from bar to bar, where the prices were hideously expensive. I was amused at this one place, the patio at the Chesterfield, where I saw a bunch of guys playing poker with M&M's (Chesterfield and poker, if you don't know what that's in reference to, scroll down and read more of my blog)

After that place we hit Clevelander, where we met Pria, Shia, their fat friend, thier other friend, and some dude Carlos. I was three sheets to the wind but I do remember the following:

1) Rutgers is a good school only known to those west of the Mississippi.
2) Most of them were from California.
3) The fat chick was lecturing me on the differences between Marlboro Ultra lights and Marlboro lights (okay, so I had a cigarette or two)
4) I was drinking a coke with some sort of powder in it (some berry extract my friend put into it)
5) Numbers were exchanged, but I was unfortunately empty handed.

Around four in the morning we left 'cause I was stumbling by then, and I essentially crashed out in the Lincoln.

We were back in Ft. Myers by 8AM.

More to follow, it's late and I have to work tomorrow.

Cheers...

It's time to get away. Hey! It's time for a holiday. Put your boots up on the shelf. Don't worry, don't worry anymore!

2005-05-12T19:55:00.000-05:00

So the paper I've been working on the past two days is done. That three page piece of techo-gibberish is buying me a ticket to the wonderful shores of Lake Geneva in June.

I was told today I HAVE to take a two week vacation in July as I have nearly a month and a half of vacation stored up. SWEET! I wonder where I'll go?

The traffic exchanges are off, so I don't expect alot of visitors to me blog, but I will bring my trusty lappy top just in case I do have some bloggable stories to tell. Check back over the next three days, you never know! Hell, I'm bringing my camera just in case.

It's off to Florida I go! I promise to drink myself into a lower IQ level.

Cheers All.

Chatting with Bahgdad Joe

2005-05-10T23:39:00.000-05:00

So here me and my buddy Joe are chatting away on MSN talking about the upcoming Florida trip when:

Joseph says:
yeah, good shit. I need to get more involved in the curious world of blogs
Joseph says:
and stop all the porn downloading i do
cruelster@gmail.com says:
you should quit that, what'd you need that shit for you Lothario you
Joseph says:
dude, when you live in the desert.......
Joseph says:
and, frankly, two days without some kinda release will get me on edge
Joseph says:
so I like a little variety
Joseph says:
course, I need to start more serious about developing my own personal collection
Joseph says:
hell, thats the real reason I bought a videocamera
cruelster@gmail.com says:
video camera
Joseph says:
oh yeah
Joseph says:
man, there are time when even I have trouble believing some of what I have done! nice to sit down, review the tape and prepare for the next round
Joseph says:
I gotta tell you too, it aint as easy as it seems to make yourself a good home-made sex tape
Joseph says:
I cant chew gum and walk at the same time, how the hell am I supposed to perform and film myself?
cruelster@gmail.com says:
HAHAHA
cruelster@gmail.com says:
;)
Joseph says:
its all jittery and shakey
Joseph says:
pointing to the ceiling for 15 minutes before I realize it
cruelster@gmail.com says:
That's so fucking funny it's hard to type
Joseph says:
I think I am turning it off after the Final Shot when I realize that I am just turning it on.....all that work for nothing!
Joseph says:
....well, ok, it sure waesnt for nothing
cruelster@gmail.com says:
Dude, man that's fucking funny as shit
Joseph says:
Dude, its true
Joseph says:
I think its kinda sad
Joseph says:
well, just goes to show I need more practice
Joseph says:
at least it helps when you have a chick thats somewhat cooperative, cause forget about having to hide the camera in a tissue box
Joseph says:
;)
Joseph says:
pile towels over it so it looks like your dirty laundry
cruelster@gmail.com says:
Jesus crhist
Joseph says:
:D
Joseph says:
Yeah, I remember I left a camera on the dresser once, and, clever me, turned the record light off, so it didnt look like it was on, only to realize that when the lights went off, you could see the reflection of the eyepiece image in the mirror!
Joseph says:
well, live and learn I say
cruelster@gmail.com says:
I'm sorry joe, but this one's gonna have to be posted, too friggin funny
Joseph says:
dude, I think I can give you material for a few weeks over the weekend

Should be an interesting weekend.

Cheers all.

I'm going to Switzerland!

2005-05-10T20:21:00.000-05:00

So I found out today that despite the fact that my abstract was rejected for an oral presentation at EW-OMVPE in Lausanne, Switzerland, it was accepted for a poster presentation. Bad thing is I have to rewrite the abstract before I leave for Florida on Friday. But this is a good thing, the first time I'll be first author on a technical presentation. Woohoo for me!

To be fair to The Megan, I decided to post my answers to one of the four questions I put to her on her last post:

Top five song lyrics
1- from "Bad" by U2 on the Wide Awake in America EP

If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go...

This desperation,
Separation,
Condemnation,
Resignation,
Intemptation,
Isolation,
Desolation,
Isolation... Let it go
And so fade away...

I'm wide awake, I'm wide awake,
I'm not sleeping...

Okay, so that's more than one lyric. But if you've ever heard them play "Bad" live, it is one of the most emotionally charged songs on their entire discography. It's the song I want to be buried to, despite the fact that it is a song about herion addiction. I always thought it had some Biblical references, and would be appropriate for a funeral.

2- "A Sort of Homecoming" by U2 from Wide Awake in America EP

And your heart beats so slow,
Through the sleet and driving snow,
Across the fields of mourning lights in the distance,
Oh don't sorrow no don't weep
For tonight
We'll hear
I am coming home
I am coming home

This is the song I'd always play before they'd force you to turn off all electrical devices on planes before I landed in SFO or EWR. But the song also reminds me of Major Sullivan Ballou's letter to his wife Sarah, I don't know why, but it just does. It's also one of U2's songs that must be heard live to really understand the song.

3- "Something Better" by the Pietasters from Oooloooloo

Never took a chance on fate,
And boredom comes to those who wait,
And if there is a lady luck,
I've never met her.
You'll never get a chance on life,
Unless you live it, my friend...

I just like the philosophy of the last two lines.

4- "Your Song" by Allesandro Safino and Ewan MacGregor (Elton John cover) from Moulon Rouge

So excuse me (for) forgetting,
But these things I do,
You see I've forgotten,
If they're green or they're blue.
But well the thing is
What I really mean,
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen.

Ewan sings the lyrics with such emotion which makes it much better than the original song.

5- "The Science of Selling Yourself Short" by Less Than Jake from Anthem

So I sit and wait and wonder,
Does anyone else feel like me?
I'm so overdosed on apathy
And burnt out on sympathy...

'Cause that's how I've been feeling these past couple of months.

I'll be perfectly honest, only the first two are the all time favorites, and they never move out of position. The other three do get replaced from time to time depending on my mood.

Cheers all.

Another Patrick Bateman moment...

2005-05-09T22:41:00.000-05:00

The bright light of the May morning sun shone through the blinds flooding the white walled confines of my bedroom. The ringing of the Panasonic alarm clock atop the faux wood and glass bed stand from Ikea was not enough to waken me two hours earlier. I push the brown and gold colored Calvin Klein cotton blanket off my body along with the gold patterned 300 count topsheet from Polo off to the side of the bed like a discared body. I am only wearing my sky blue boxers from Express and I check my weight upon the Brookstone scale conviently placed underneath my bed so I can weigh myself every morning. 149 it grins at me as I realize that my running is starting to take its toll on the excess fat stores around my midsection that I have been trying to get rid of these past few weeks. My reflection in the half length mirror situated atop the dresser, again from Ikea, shows a thinner me only because I have not eaten since six o'clock yesterday and I try not to eat too much because that makes me look fat and old. I stumble into the bathroom still a bit groggy from the sleep aid I took while chatting online with my one friend about my upcoming trip to Florida and the other about music downloads. The medicine cabinet is opened so I can retrieve the blue and white contact lense case as the pollen count outside was predicted to be low and that allows me to use my contacts for the whole day I am at work. I step into the shower and bring the water temperature to luke warm because too hot of a shower can irritate my skin and make me look older. I use Selsun Blue Menthol shampoo to combat the minor dandruff issue I have and use a conditioner make the hair shine. The body sponge is then lathered with body rinse from Adidas because 1) I am an active male in his late twenties 2) it has an active scent that is pleasing to the nose. After the body scrup I apply some body wash to an exfoliating facial towel that removes any extra dead skin because dead dry facial skin makes you look older. Upon completion of the facial scrub I apply Neutrogena Healty Skin Anti-wrinkle Anti-blemish face wash to my face and neck and wash thoroughly. I step out of the shower, towel off gently, and while the skin is wet, apply a facial lotion from Eucerin and to the body goes Eucerin Intensive Care lotion with Alpha Hydroxy to seal in the moisture and make the skin smooth. After the body care, I apply a small pearl of Neutrogena Eye Cream to the pinky and dab it under the eyelids to get rid of the baggy eyes because that mkes me look older. For the hair, I apply a generous amount of Aussie Kiwi Styling Gell and mold the hair to be a little less spikey and a bit more serious than previous attempts. I swish my mouth with the Scope I take directly from the bottle and then proceed to brush my teeth with the Crest Spin Brush and Crest Extra Whitening toothpaste to offset the staining that the dozen or so cups of coffee can do to my teeth. After a quick spritz of Polo sport cologne and an application of Old Spice High Endurance Anti-Perspirant/Deoderant, I head back into the bedroom. I put on a pair of Tommy Hilfiger boxer shorts and put on a blue stretch tee shirt from Express. Over the tee shirt I don a blue pin stripe athletic fit dress shirt from JCrew and for the bottoms step into a pair of charcoal grey stretch fit dress pants from the Gap. The Banana Republic monogramed black leather belt secures the pants to my midsection and I put on a pair of black dress Alfani socks left foot first. For shoes I put on my black Kenneth Cole dress shoes and I check myself once again in the mirror. Although it is warm this morning, I still bring my flat black nylon blend jacket from Banana Republic just in case I am detained at work and it gets chilly later that day. I grab my Bolle wraparound sunglasses from atop the TV stand where my Panasonic 28 inch HTDV and combination DVD/Surround Sound system is housed and down the stairs and out through the green door into the bright May morning sunlight...

Cheers.

I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

2005-05-08T19:30:00.000-05:00

Went to the 'rent's house for some Mother's Day dinner. My mom had one of her friends over and what I thought would just be a quiet dinner for three ended up being dinner for five. It would not have been so bad if everyone at the table save for myself did not carry on in another language other than English.

Growing up I never had the opportunity to learn my parent's native language. It wasn't because I was not interested, it just was not encouraged. My parents spoke to me and my brother in English and conversed amongst themselves in their own language. It gets even more complicated when my mom starts talking to her siblings in her dialect, which, apparently, my dad does not understand.

Years later, I asked my mom why they never taught me their language, and the response was, "You never wanted to learn." I took offense to that as I don't remember them ever sitting me down and at least trying to teach me. It's kind of embarrasing when I meet other Filipinos and they balk at me that I can't converse with them in a launguage other than English. "He's been Americanized," some of them would say.

Anyway, I digress.

So dinner when the way that I expected. I sat there silently as my mom and dad (well not really my dad, he doesn't say much) chatted away with their friends. After dinner and desert, I crashed on the couch (I ran this afternoon was a bit tired) and watched Hold'em Poker on Fox Sports. All the time, no one spoke to me. After about twenty minutes, I bid them farewell and went home. Funny thing was, they were surprised to see me want to leave so soon.

What did they expect?

Not to be an ass on Mother's Day, but I realized this has been the recurring theme throughout my life. They always liked to talk about us to other people, but never really like to talk to us when me and my brother were growing up. I guess that's why I only really talk to them on a "when I have time" basis.

Again, not to be an ass, but I have one more thing. I am deathly allergic to peanuts. Growing up, despite this fact that I could DIE if I ingested or came in contact with the vile legume, they still had peanuts and peanut butter in the house and just made me "go into the other room" My dad was the most guilty of this. He'd much away right in front of me and I'd catch a whif and start itching like crazy.

Please don't get me wrong, dear readers, I love my parents to death, but sometimes I wonder if they knew how to raise us. I wonder how I would be with my own kids, if and when I do have offspring.

Cheers

Sleepy...

2005-05-07T18:07:00.000-05:00

15.4 miles in 2:19. Man, am I friggin' tired.

Mental note for later in life:

When I am older and my (future) wife and I buy a tandem bicycle. I will not, for any reason, by an outfit for me and my wife that matches the color scheme on the bike.

There was this couple on a bright yellow and red tandem bicycle and I had to endure their presence, not once, not twice, but four times.

Another issue I have:

After the run instead of going back to the bachelor pad I headed to the diner because I was soooo hungry after the run. The waitress, who could not have been over 22 years old, kept calling me sweetie. I really hate that.

I need to shower and sleep.

Cheers

Older women... they don't play games like the younger ones... they've been around the block a few times... they know what's up...

2005-05-07T13:05:00.000-05:00

It's sunny outside, a bit on the cool side, and I have Jack Johnson playing on ITunes.

I missed my run this morning, woke up late, so in about an hour I'm going to run 15 miles real slow. I have to figure out how I'm going to to my second 15 over the next two weeks as I will be away the next two weekends.

I'll be in Florida next weekend. My buddy, who gave me the above pearl of wisdom, is down there and I decided to hop a flight to catch up with him. A weekend of carousing, shooting, and debauchery, should be fun.

The next weekend, I'll be in Houston, catching up with the cousins.

Now if only I can survive the shortened weeks of work.

Things are looking up.

Cheers

Love is as far as a light switch...

2005-05-04T21:14:00.000-05:00

There are certain subjects that I won't blog about. Among them are people I am seeing, dates, and sexual experiences. Those subjects are just too private to want to share with the rest of the world.

However, tonight will be an exeption as I am in a randy mood tonight, and a "moment of clarity" that I had tonight about someone. Plus the fact that I've had a beer or two does make me a bit loose lipped as most of my friends can attest to.

A couple of days back (actually the day that HugeB made the water pink) I had a rather interesting discussion with HugeB over things that change as we get older. The conversation was sparked by the fact that he had bought a bunch of blacklights so we could get the dye to flouresce. The blacklights didn't work and he mentioned he was going to return them.

I told him, "Hey, since you work on your car so much, you could mount them in the Ultimate Driving Machine (what he calls his BMW)."

"Nah, dude, I used to have them in my old apartment. But as I am getting older (he's 32), I got rid of them." He told me.

"Yeah, I guess the older you get and the older the chicks get, the whole neon thing in the bachelor pad gets kind of freaky." I responded.

"I did own some blue Christmas lights that I strung up in the bedroom..." He added.

I thought about that a few moments.

"Christmas lights, sounds a bit on the, ahem, weirdo side..." I followed up.

"C'mon, dude, you know how some chicks are self conscious about having the lights on... The blue lights casted enough light to see what you were doing, but were dark enough to kind of allay her concerns..."

Now when he said that, I thought that was pretty fucking funny.

But that got me thinking...

I am no way a Lothario, and I don't look like Tom Cruise. But the sun shines on a dogs ass every once and a while. Too bad the times that I did get laid were when I was three sheets to the wind. I guess alcohol bypasses the female mating urge for tall, broad shouldered, and muscular. Although, I do have broad shoulders for my build...

But those times I do remember vaguely that the lights were on in every instance. I can attribute that to the fact that I may have:

a) just concentrated on the task at hand and just forgotten.
b) spent too much energy on the task at hand AND resist the urge to pass out and just forgotten.
c) her succubian charms were too much for me plus I didn't know where the light switch was.
d) I was just way too drunk to remember why.

However, there was a time in Taipei where I did attempt to turn the lights off. In my hotel, there was a light console on the bed table. So while this chick (the Aussie Jen chick from a few posts back) was trying to remove my toungue with her lung capacity that could pull a vacuum that would rival the depths of space, I tried to turn off the lights by tapping the console. Since my head was facing the other way and completely preoccupied, I could not see what I was doing, so I started to just slap every random button.

While I was doing that, the lights started to flicker on and off. The main lights, the table across the room, the hallway, the bed rest, whatever light was controlled by that console, it turned on and off with my random hand movements. Come to think of it, the radio turned on as well. Somehow I remember Chinese pop music.

Aussie Jen released me from her vacuum of death to start laughing at the lights. I finally gave up and just left them on.

So I toss this question into the void for men, women, midgets, gays, and lesbians...

Lights on or lights off?

Cheers.

You're not Mr. Purple. Some guy on some other job is Mr. Purple. You're Mr. Pink!

2005-05-03T18:54:00.000-05:00

I do have a lot to complain about today, but I will not bore you all with the details. Instead, here's a funny story.

***DISCLAIMER***
The following story involves engineeing and a possibly little bit of math, so if that does not interest you, wait the 20 or 30 seconds and hit the number/color to get to the next blog

I have the firm belief that the higher the level of education you attain, the less common sense you retain. Remember that people, as I relate the following anecdote.

I work at an engineering firm that makes capital equipment for high technology companies. A lot of the products we make are rather complicated pieces of equipment which require engineers and scientists with a combination of intelligence and creativity to try to troubleshoot when things go wrong.

One of the methods we use to try to decouple multiple failures is building a simple test rig to see if there is a common or simple cause of the problem. In this case, we build a rig made of lexan (plexiglass) to see how water flows through one component of our products.

Enter HugeB, the token metrosexual of our group and an accomplished PhD in Chemical Engineering. His method in trying to figure out the dynamics of water flow through such component was to use a non-toxic flourescent dye to see how the water courses through the rig. A very simple concept, but the most disastrous engineering failures always come from simple circumstances.

Anyhoot, he needed a place to test the rig and I offered my lab as we had a water supply that was adequate for his needs. After some fiddling, he hooked the water up to the rig and was ready to conduct his test.

Now the dye he was using is commonly used in finding leaks in things such as sewers, water pipes, and the like, and you really aren't supposed to use a lot of this agent to get the desired result. Somehow, our PhD did not understand that concept. He shows up with this huge syringe and proceeds to inject a diluted mixture of water and dye into the rig. As expected, we saw how the water flows through the model and it did give us some insight on what was going on. I thought we were done.

We were not. HugeB thought that the effect was not "dramatic" enough (we were going to video tape the event, but we were impatient and had enough witnesses)

So we ran the experiment again.

This time he filled the syringe with raw dye, and injected it into the test rig. The dye was so concentrated (it was supposed to be flourescent red, but in this concentration it looked like blood), that the whole rig turned red and after a while, turned a dark pink hue.

"Shit" we said, as the color was not fading way. It stayed that dark pink color.

We all though we stained the lexan.

"Give it some time, it'll clear" HugeB assured us.

Hours later, it was the same color.

The next day, Wiggums walked into the lab and noticed the rig sprung a leak. There was a puddle of pink water on the floor.

He called me to the lab.

Now to all the non-technical people out there, there's a term called "closed loop" and it means that such a system has not outlet. It is self contained.

HugeB had dyed the entire water system of my lab. I had pink water flowing through everything.

But it gets better.

That loop his hooked up to the building loop. That loop services everything such as the air conditioning, cooling water for other pieces of equipment, you name it, it serves it. This day it was serving a dose of dark pink water.

It was an amazingly pretty sight. These normally clear water lines leading to various parts of the building were dark pink. It would have been perfect if the toilet and drinking water turned pink. But that didn't happen.

I couldn't help and laugh at the gross oversight that HugeB made.

Until other departments started to complain.

"It's probably a leak of glycol (antifreeze) into the cooling water." AndyB, our facilities supervisor, explained to the other department heads. He checked the glycol supply, it was blue in color.

HugeB fessed up shortly thereafter.

Again, back to the concept of a "closed loop" system. There's no outlet. So we now have permanently dyed pink water.

HugeB's new name at work is Mr. Pink.

I spoke to Wiggums later on that day. He told me, "When I lived in Japan, they had this saying- Even the smartest monkey can fall from the tree!"

Oh how true.

Cheers.

Some thoughts before lunch...

2005-05-02T10:32:00.000-05:00

My cousin L called me up last night to finalize my arrangements for my trip to Texas in three weeks. I don't have to worry about accomodations or a rental car, so the cost to me is just the plane ticket and whatever other expenses I may accrue. She rents a house with her boyfriend, her brother, and two dogs, and they offered to take me around while I'm there so that's cool.

I have a hankering for a Shiner Bock right now and a chilli beer.

This makes me think about other trips I might make around the US at least. I know enough people in places like Dallas, San Jose, Los Angeles, Santa Cruz, and Seattle, that a whirlwind tour of the US might be in order. I'd probably try to drive it, but I don't know if the Honda can take a beating like driving around the US. Plus the whole job thing gets in the way, but if the business keeps going the way it is, maybe I'll be free in August. Still, I'd rather be out of the country than in, at least for a week or two. But we'll see. My horoscope tells me to stay put.

I've put more thought into the marathon gig. Sounds like something that I definately will do. I've added Chicago to the list as I've never been there and the course is supposed to be relatively flat. Sometime in June or July I'll have to make a decision on which one, which is a good thing as most of the more irritating things that have been bugging me lately should come to a head by then.

I'll admit I was one of those fools that actually enjoyed The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy only because I had read the book. If you haven't read the book and enjoyed the book, don't see this movie. You won't get it. The humor and satire of the book and film can be hard to grasp. So save yourself the money. If you're a fan, go see it, you won't be disappointed.

Is is lunch time yet?

Cheers all.

Vegging out/Travel plans/Downloading Music/JC will do a marathon at 30

2005-05-01T20:01:00.000-05:00

So after the rather frustrating post on Friday, I decided to veg out this weekend to think of what I'd need to do to get me out of this rut that I am in. I turned off the traffic exchanges for the weekend as I didn't want every Tom, Dick, and Harry, to post his thoughts on my predicament, but I digress.

I did receive some good news this weekend. Actually, two pieces of good news. First, is my childhood buddy, Joe, is coming back to the States soon, and it would be good to catch up on old times and maybe plan a week or two somewhere other than here as I am in desperate need of a vacation. Second, my cousin on my dad's side is graduating from law school, and, again, since I deperately need to get out of here for a few days, it'll be nice to spend a few days in Houston. I've been there before, in '99.

I spend the better part of today at this site as recommended by a friend, and I was able to grab some Ben Folds albums, the new Jack Johnson album which kicks some serious ass, as well as a few others that I haven't listen to in a long, long time. But as an added bonus, I picked up Fiona Apple's Extraordinary Machine, which, as far as I understood it, has been leaked onto the internet to spite Sony who refuses to release it. Here's the album cover:

I have to admit that when I first saw the video for "Criminal", I felt kind of dirty. She's got a sexy voice, almost sounds like the stoned chick you pick up from some college bar.

I also ran 11.2 miles on the towpath. For the longer runs such as this, I bring my Ipod along to keep my mind from wandering too much. Else, I'd veer into canal and drown. Or does that only happen when a Jeff Buckley song comes on? Hmmm....

While running, I realized how much at peace I am. So, in the tradition of trying to figure out what the hell I should do next, I decided that this year, as I turn 30, I'll run a marathon. I've run 20 milers before, in fact, I'm building up for a 20 miler in the first weekend of June. So marathon training is not far off from what I normally do and I should be able to adjust rather quickly.

Now I just have to figure out which one to do. The three I can think of off the top of my head are NYC (need to get in the lottery. Tried once, didn't get it, but wouldn't hurt to try!), Philly (most likely, plus it's small and supposidly a better beginner marathon. Plus, it's the latest of the three), and Marine Corps (Which my friend Kevin says is a good first despite being 4 hours away in DC).

The training will take up 2-3 months of my time, so that'll keep my wandering mind happy. No time goal, just aiming to finish. Even though the predicto calulators tell me I could be able to run a 3:18 marathon in my best shape. HA!

This is all contingent on the following:
1) I am still employed
2) I can still drive
3) The desire for me to travel doesn't take hold during the latter part of the summer/fall.

Hopefully, I could make a dent in the 33 days of vacation I've built up this summer, and that'll tide the desire to leave so I could train. But we'll see.

Cheers all.

People do it everyday, they talk to themselves... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it.

2005-04-29T09:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I had a pre-mid life crisis.

In about four months, give or take a few days, I'll turn 30.

30 is supposed to be that milestone where you give up the trappings of your youthfull 20's and enter the realm of true adulthood. You're supposed to own a home, have a family, a secure job, and a nest egg for your kid's college fund AND something saved up for retirement. Some of my friends have gone this route, and are very happy living such a lifestyle. However, most of my friends have foregone that traditional route, and are like myself, asking, "What's next?"

All the engineers in my lab, save for one, are in their late twenties, and every one of us is asking that same question. We all were field engineers, so we spent the better part of our early twenties seeing the world, getting drunk with all the ex-pats, and doing this for essentially zero dollars out of our pockets. The stories we have are priceless, and are told and retold everytime we go out for beers. We all gave that up, for myself, five years ago this month.

Now I ask myself, did I give it up too early?

In the intervening years, I've had the opportunity to serve as the elder statesman to the younger engineers who followed in mine and other's footsteps. During their training, I'd tell them stories of my exploits and I'd listen intestely when they'd return to their own tales. Whenever I'd meet new people, I'd relate the more tame stories over a few drinks, and would always have them enthralled by some of my misadventures. All the time feeling quite happy.

So then the question still remains, did I give that up too early?

In the past five years, I've tried to settle down. Got my own place, quit smoking, started running, lost a whole shitload of pounds, and the one thing I can honestly say, is that I am incredibly bored. While work was interesting, my most memorable times I had in the past five years have always been my road trips. And they were too far a few inbetween.

Someone once told me that, at least for men, 30 is the turning point, a decision must be made to either "go north or south" That is, either admit it and start to act more mature with the members in my new age group, or put it off for a while and act as the care free "elder" to those in their 20's.

Right now, I'm leaning towards the latter.

I'll admit, I do want to get married someday and have a family. But not yet. The longing to get out of here is getting stronger. I'm bored at work, and the challenge that once was there is gone. I'm bored in my personal life. I need to see new things. I need a change.

Man, am I bored.

Cheers

I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

2005-04-28T07:24:00.000-05:00

Stolen from Brian.

Post-Hypnotized Peter

Looks like another boring day in my uninspiring job. I can't add any more since I have a meeting with the Bobs.

Cheers

I see smart people

2005-04-27T21:31:00.000-05:00

Ran with the running club tonight. Did my six miles nice and easy. I'm supposed to run 20 on June 4th, but considering that my running has been sparse, it may be cut short on that day. I am planning to do 10 this weekend, but I'll have to see if the weather will hold up.

Afterwards, a bunch of us stopped by MIT's house to partake of the home made beer he made for a party this past weekend that was not finished. I have to say that homebrewed beers taste pretty freaking awesome and the alcohol content is slightly higher than what you get commercially.

What made tonight pretty interesting was the conversations we had while awaiting the pizzas to arrive. Most of the conversation we normally have, at least according to RP, eventually move towards subjects of a sexual nature. But tonight there was some serious intellectual conversation going one amongst those present. This could have been the fact that the majority of club members are liberal in their views, including my own, and few of the members are conservative. Or it could be attributed to the fact that over half the people in attendance were froma science background, and if anyone knows any scientists, we love to friggin' argue!

Topics included:

1) The Iraq War
2) Cuba: Is it destitute because of the embargo or because it is communist.
3) Is the term "Jewish bankroll" a racial epitath or just a stupid thing to say
4) The troubles at the National Institute of Weights and Measures: The ever shrinking meter.
5) The TV show Mythbusters (fucking awesome show)
6) The North Korea situation or would you cannabalize your own grandparents for food.
7) Is a man's shoe size proportional to the size of one's penis

Overal, an entertaining, if not learning, experience. My refined skill of recall was impaired by the homebrew, so I can't relate actual quotes to you, dear readers.

Cheers

As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "i" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team...

2005-04-26T10:22:00.000-05:00

My boss is in Europe so technically I am on some sort of mental vacation, despite being trapped at my place of employment. To look busy, I have decided to become as inefficient as possible so that my small workload can carry me through the rest of the day. Else, I would do what I did yesterday and retreat to my fortress of solitude (my lab, where no one bothers me) and spend it chatting with whomever was online (including one employee who was in the other building and was as bored, if not even more, than myself)

Whenever the weather is nice outside, I often feel guilty about being stuck inside under the oppressive flourescent lighting and the constant sounds of either people on the phone or machinery. I force myself to go outside and bask in the rays of the sun to remind myself that humans were not meant to be trapped in places such as my work.

Today, I snuck outside and ran into Murphy, who works at my old company (which occupies one part of the same building I work in). I've known Murphy for almost five years, and for the past four years, he's been seeing this chick who used to work with us way back in the day. However, he tries his hardest to hide that fact. He uses clandestine tactics such as never referring to her by name (he referred her as 'she' or 'the gf'). Funny thing is, we already know who is girlfriend is and have mentioned it in passing, but he still insists on using the third person. Odd fellow, Murphy is.

Ugh.

This lack of mental stimulation is killing me. Is is lunch time yet?

Cheers

Don't fuck this up, Mitchell!!!!

2005-04-25T20:33:00.000-05:00

I have to get this DVD box set:

It comes with the movies Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Weird Science. As a child of the 80's, these DVD's are missing from my ever expanding DVD collection. However, I would have rather seen Weird Science replaced with:

I think it's a superior movie than Weird Science. Only because I could relate to poor Jerry.

Cheers

Kinda like the time I found you naked with a bowl of jello? But I was hot, and I was hungry!

2005-04-25T19:13:00.000-05:00

On the way back from Atlantic City Saturday, I was driving and one of the advantages of bringing my buddy Hertz along is the fact that he talks all the time. A lot of guys at work think he talks too much, but as a drinking and gambling buddy, he's not too bad. The fact that he kept conversing with me the whole two hour drive back to Franklin prevented me from falling asleep at the wheel.

It takes a lot to make me lose concentration when I drive. Most of the time, it would involve any subject that makes me break out in hideous laughter. One of the many subjects Hertz brought up almost brought me to tears.

We had just gotten on the AC expressway and I was approaching the toll when the subject of Vanessa Carlton was brought up. Now I don't follow music as much as I used to, my musical tastes essentially stopped around 2000. But Hertz went on to explain how she's sort of an exhibitionist and likes to walk around nude.

"Well, I wouldn't mind seeing that!" I said.

"It's very liberating," Hertz replid.

I hesitated, "And how do you know that?"

"I'll admit it, JC, I walk around in the nude..."

"What!?!?"

"In my hotel room. Just turn up the heat and strip down! I spent an entire weekend naked in my room once..." He said casually.

"Impossible, what about the maid?" I asked, not believing a word he was saying.

"I'd just put on some clothes and go out to eat, no big deal!"

Now this is not a conversation you want to have in the car with another dude. "Dude, I never did that! Granted, I'd walk around in my room in my boxers, but never naked..."

"Never?"

"Well, there was that time when the maid at the Harbor View in Hong Kong found me naked, passed out on my bed. Man, did I sober up real quick!"

"See! Liberating. The only problem you have to remember is to really clean yourself up after going to the bathroom..."

I followed up, "What? Afraid of skid marks on the furniture?"

"Dude, it's a fucking hotel, what do I care? Let the next guy who gets the room after me worry about that!"

As disgusting of a thought that was, I couldn't help my self but start laughing histerically. Kind of like the time my roomate in college told me the story of how he was in a stall at one of the rest stops on the Parkway and he discovered after doing his business that someone had urinated on the toilet paper. "Time to use the boxers!" he told me. A nasty and disgusting story, but pretty fucking funny!

In my laughter, I failed to notice the exit to the Parkway was rapidly approaching, and despite my high rate of speed I jerked the wheel to make it on the exit ramp, narrowly missing one of those reflector posts. Maybe I was just tired or just distracted from the rather strange yet amusing confession from my friend.

Isn't toilet humor great?

Cheers

For all you Star Wars fans...

2005-04-24T22:21:00.000-05:00

I stole the link fom Mags.

The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster

I will say this for being a tyrannical dark overlord: you get great service at restaurants.

Read it, it's hilarious.

Cheers

The readability of me blog...

2005-04-24T21:00:00.000-05:00

I got this from Juicy Studios

Readability Results for http://roadthoughts.blogspot.com/

Readability Results
Summary	Value
Total sentences	376
Total words	4,261
Average words per Sentence	11.33
Words with 1 Syllable	3,253
Words with 2 Syllables	738
Words with 3 Syllables	202
Words with 4 or more Syllables	68
Percentage of word with three or more syllables	6.34%
Average Syllables per Word	1.32
Gunning Fog Index	7.07
Flesch Reading Ease	84.01
Flesch-Kincaid Grade	4.36

This would place my blog somewhere between TV guides, The Bible, and Mark Twain on the low end and Reader's Digest on the high end.

Cheers

What's with the red underwear? You might as well wear diapers!

2005-04-24T14:44:00.000-05:00

Go se Kung Fu Hustle. If you like Kung Fu movies and are a movie buff (there are a lot of movie references in it) you'll like it.

Hertz wanted to head down to AC since he spent the last sixth months in China. His game, like myself, is poker, so we headed down early yesterday as the tables fill up fast at the Borgata.

I learned I am better at No Limit Hold'em than I am at Limit. Although I did walk away with $150, I was up at one point $500 (and there is no better feeling than having eight huge stacks of red checks in front of you!). The game really tested my patience and discipline as during the whole eight hour stretch I had the following winning hands: pocket aces, poket kings, a boat of tens over fours, a king high club flush draw, an ace high flush draw, and an ace high bluff. 7 winning hands over eight hours.

The table I was at was quite fun. One of the guys there was a spitting image of Steve Harvey, and was just as funny as him. Steve dropped easily a grand and a half over the 8 hours I was there. I am happy to say that I was the one that tapped him out early (on the tens over fours boat, he had fours over aces. It was the ace that mad him bet into me, despite the fact I had the boat by the turn. He was drawing dead and betting $100+ for the river card. He went all in depite having a dead hand. I am really proud of that move.)

When we got back, my friend Nav called and wanted to head out to New Brunswick for some drinks. After I dropped Hertz at his hotel, I made a quick trip to the bachelor pad to shower up and get into my nice clothes. We first hit Dolls, but it was dead, then we went to the new bar/club Glo.

Now, I never really liked going to New Brunswick. Only because it's a college town and I'm kind of tired of the whole college scene anyway. But recently, there've been some night spots that have been popping up that are geared more towards the mid to late 20's crowd.

Lessons learned from being at Glo:
1) There seems to be a high percentage of women in the area that are under 5'4", which is a good thing for me as I am not as tall.
2) The music there on a Saturday night was good, even though the keboard/DJ combo was weird.
3) I am in desperate need of a real wingman (or wingwoman, which I think is a better route to take, more on that later).

I do have to admit that chicks have a better choice when it comes to figuring out what to wear when going out. All of the guys at the bar, including myself, were wearing the same outfit: Button down print or dress athletic or dress fit shirt, designer jeans, nice pair of dress or casual shoes. My only saving grace was that I was the only short guy there that wasn't white and balding.

This morning I awoke with the most painfull calf cramp that actually made me scream. I usually get those when my electrolites are out of wack, and considering all I had yesterday was 12 cups of coffee, a steak, and a copious amount of alcohol, I think that would explain an imbalance.

Spent most of the morning in bed because I couldn't walk. Ruined my plans for a run today. Only now can I hobble to my computer to type this.

Cheers

So it doesn't go against nature...

2005-04-22T09:34:00.000-05:00

Sometimes its better to leave things best unexplained.

Someone left a joke on the lab desk this morning for Wiggums to read. It wasn't offensive or anything, it essentially dealt with cows. Not too funny, but Wiggums grew up on a cow farm before going to engineering school so the joke was a little more effective on him. What was funny was the fact the he zeroed in on the photo that was printed out with the joke:

Cows in heat

Wiggums pointed out the photo, "That's an example of lesbian cow fucking."

"What?" I exclaimed. It's rare for Wiggums to drop the f-bomb, so this had to have a story behind it.

He continued, "Well, when you don't have bulls on the farm, it's one way to know if the cows are in heat by just leaving them alone in a field."

"Yeah..."

"Well, the cows'll start humping each other. The ones that are standing still and getting mounted are the ones that are in heat. So their ready to be inseminated."

"Okay..."

"The ones that are doing the mounting are coming into heat. Soon they'll get tired and just stand there and they'll be ready..."

"So, they do all the mounting and then they're like, 'okay, my turn,' kind of deal?" I asked.

"Pretty much. The other way is just to put a pedometer on them. Cows in heat will walk around three times as much..."

"I think that would be less traumatic than the whole humping thing..."

Cheers

Bouldering, bitches!

2005-04-21T23:26:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty hammered right now, so if I make no sense I apologize in advance.

Went to the rock gym tonight. Got there late since BA had a flat tire and I had to pick his ass up and escort him back to his apartment.

Despite the climbing clinic, I had a rough time at the gym. I have trouble pivoting and I wore my forearms down as I was trying to ascend some difficult routes.

To help me with balance, BA took me to the bouldering wall and I quickly had to learn how to contort my bod in order to get to certain hand holds. Considering that there are only six moves per route with bouldering and the fact that I did not have a crash pad, made for some interesting climbing.

I have to admit the benefits of exercise really makes someone look younger than they really are. There was this chick at the gym that had a kicking body. Nice and tight with abs that I'd love to, well, I'm drunk, so figure it out. But I later found out that this chick was pushing 40! Man, am I going to have some fucked up dreams tonight.

Afterwards, BA and I usually hit the pub, but it's ladies night tonight and the pub turns into a club after 10PM. Also, the local chicks aren't that great (fat girls who like to dress up in spandex). Add the fact that BA is getting married, so ladie's night was out. I really need to find some single friends, as I am running out of people to go drinking with!

Ended up at the local Chili's to grab some beers and food because, as the good athlete that I am, I always end a good workout with some beers. Funny thing is, I blasted my forearms tonight to the point that I had trouble gripping the beer glass (which, I will admit I did not take home with me despite the fact that it was a Yeungling glass and I don't own one yet).

I am going to suffer tomorrow morning.

Cheers all!

Okay, since you asked...

2005-04-21T00:36:00.000-05:00

As requested by Isabo in her comment on the previous post, and the fact that my RSS reader woke me up (it gives off an annoying doorbell sound), here's the whole Jen thing explained.

First girl I fell for: JenK in seventh or sixth grade. That was more by just process of elimination than anything. She was something like twice as tall as I was.

In college, my best friend and study partner was JenM. It was the whole "unrequitted love" thing and the "love triangle" thing that probably was one of the contributing factors for the depression thing sophomore year. We'll get back to her later.

I knew five other women in college, two of which were named Jennifer. There was FrisbeeJen, who was a bio or chem major who played, you guessed it, Ultimate Frisbee. There was JenD, who was my first exposure to someone who could be characterized as "excessively promiscuous" This is where my roomate in college, WildBill, commented, "you know, there is a such thing as a name fetish"

Funny story about JenM. Today, I was working with V-man and Prag showed up to chat with us in the lab. V-man commented that I've known him for something like eleven years ever since college. I'd give him my homework, he'd give me old exams.

Anyway, the subject of study groups came up and he mentioned that there were cliques in our class. I commented that my clique consisted of two people. For the record, AD came much later and he always reminded me how much I was an idiot and an ass for not doing anything about the whole situation.

So then V-man starts on this kick of reminding me of the good old days with things like, "She was a great girl," "You could always see them together..." "She was tough" But the kicker was...

"She was a hard girl, wouldn't give anything to JC"

I had to laugh, "In more ways than you think, V-man, in more ways that you think."

Anyway, I digress

First girl I lost my cherry to (I was a late bloomer), Taiwan Jen, whom I met at Spin in the Chin Shan Nan Lu by the university. I was with Amsbug, and it was his last weekend in Taipei. If I recall correctly, that's when I started smoking, since I was drunk and she'd offered me a cigarette. That was the first time I also had to figure out how to get back to the hotel from some dingy apartment with out the business card.

When I was in Japan in '98, V-man was able to hook me up with JenM's phone number as she lived something like a block away from where he was. Over the next year and a half we'd chat on AOL and meet for lunch or drinks in New Brunswick. I was travelling a lot at the time, so inbetween trips we'd meet. In 99 she broke up with her high school sweet heart of, like, forever, and in November/December (as I spent September/October in Albuquerque) we went out, for real, for a couple of dates. In Jan 00 I was off to Taiwan again.

Jan 3, 2000 to Feb 29, 2000, I spent the better part drunk (I think it was something like 42 days straight. I had issues) During which I hooked up with Aussie Jen, who was working for the Aussie Trade Office (since Taiwan is not a recognized country, the consuls were called trade offices). Again, I was pretty much shitfaced at the time, and it was close to Valentine's Day. Funny thing, she was like a twin except for the hair. But that's no excuse. BTW, that was my last true trip as a field service engineer for a variety of reasons.

Obviously, that did not bode well with JenM. I've kind of kept this private for the past couple of years, don't know why, but I did. Oh well. I started running after that. Quit smoking in Jan 2001.

In April of 03, I ran into her at Office Max near my apartment. I had forgotten she still lived in the area, and the encounter set me off like a hand grenade. It had been years since I'd been that upset.

Fast foward to 2005. Of the five women I met on Match (out of something like 120+ emails, what a scam), two were named Jen. Nothing happened with them, just pointing that fact out.

Anyway, there you have it.

Cheers

Of beer glasses and such...

2005-04-20T22:22:00.000-05:00

This is the glass I am currently holding hostage from the bar we went to after running with the club. I figured it's been a while since I liberated a pint glass from any bar I've been to and my skills in pilfering beer glasses have been rusty. Besides, my collection of bar glasses needs to grow and I did not have an Amstel glass in my collection.

Not to turn this into a training blog as with my friends Iron Pete and PB, but I was able to run 6 miles tonight despite the 80+ degree weather. I wanted to run at a steady 9 min/mile pace, and was running a bit faster than that at around 8:45 min/mile. About a year ago, I was doing tempo runs in the mid to low 7's over the whole 8 mile course, so that show's you my current fitness level. Too much beer, I guess.

Let me post another question... We all have our little quirks and such, and I'm the type of person who uses their quirkiness in every day conversation. I have certain sayings or mannerisms that I think are unique to myself and I use them for laughs or to gauge interest when someone is talking to me.

Anyway, I was talking to CA the other night on the phone (and I hate talking on the phone. I don't know why, maybe I get too distracted) and since I don't know her to well I started to delve into my quirkiness bank to see if she's got some sense of humor. So I mentioned the problem I have with certain books.

"I could never get past chapter four of Joe Heller's Catch 22" I said. Usually, I'll get a giggle from whomever I'm talking to and I would continue. "I'd always bring it on my trans pacific flights and despite the 14 hour flight, I'd never get past chapter four. I don't know what it is, I just put the book down and do something else. The return flight, I'll pick it up again, and stop at chapter four...." And so on and so forth.

CA fired back at me and replied, "I know, I have the same problem with that book...."

So now I start freaking out. I don't know why. Usually, I'm excited to meet someone with the same interests and activities similar to mine, as my hobbies, activities and experiences are not common. But I'd like to think that some of things in my quirkiness bank are unique to myself, as they are quite useful in many a situation. Now it's not so unique. The conversation went a bit downhill from there. Oh well, next time.

Now fast forward to today. I get back from my run and a bunch of us are sitting around talking about some of the books we've read in the past month or so. I decided to unleash the Catch 22 story upon the unsuspecting masses, and immediately, DG says something like, "I can't seem the finish that book either..." Now I am just dumbfounded after that. I couldn't participate in the conversation anymore. How, in 2 days, 2 different people share the same problem with the same book. It's not like it's a hard book to read like, say, Joyce's Ulysses. Damn, I think it's time to retire that story.

I really didn't have a question to post, I guess I am a bit tired. I have to get to bed early as I am going climbing with BA tomorrow. I really wish girls like this...

climbed at the rock gym we go to. Man, she's friggin hot for a rock climber. Must be the whole granola thing. I think she replaces Jen Rhines as the number one chick in my sports I'd like to, ahem, train with.

Cheers

Marry me, Rachel.

2005-04-19T22:10:00.000-05:00

Just finished watching $40 a Day on the Food Network.

I'll admit, I have a thing for Rachel Ray.

She did make FHM's 100 Sexiest Women 2004. The "girl next door" looks and the down to earth demeanor, stunning. Plus, the fact that's she's successful despite no formal training says something about her. If only I could get over her annoying voice...

Courtesy of FHM:

She could lick my spoon anytime!

Yeah, and I keep the more important stuff stashed in my boxers...

2005-04-19T18:47:00.000-05:00

Ever been to cheap to buy a proper carrying case for something?

I ask this question because of a little incident that happened at work today. Molsen, a member of the field service group who lives as an ex-pat out in Japan, is back in NJ for couple of days to meet with some of the big boys and download the situation out in the Land of the Rising Sun.

One of the problems we have at the home office, and this is a problem that I had when I was travelling back in the day, is the lack of desk space for returning field engineers or other corporate visitors. You tend to find a cube that the occupant is on vacation, or just share one with someone you know. Upon his return, Molsen asked Wiggums if he could use his desk since

a) guys like me and Wiggums spend a lot of time in the lab that we rarely can be found at our desks and/or computers.
b) Wiggums lived in Japan for two and a half years before joining the R&D group, which explains why he's a bit strange. So the whole, "I've been there, brother," thing goes on.

Anyway, over the past two days, whenever Wiggums needed to use his computer or use his phone, Molsen would hog more than half the desk space with receipts, candy wrappers, papers, you name it, it was spreading across Wiggums normally clean desk. Technically being a manager, Molsen has nothing better to do than to finish expense reports, answer frivilous emails, and, in general, not do anything constructive while at home base. The desk situation got to the point that I donated my phone for Wiggum's needs.

This afternoon, we were surprised to see that Molsen was away from Wiggum's desk. Seizing on the opportunity to regain some territory, Wiggums sat down at his desk and started to get some paper work done reclaiming most of the acreage of the desk.

It was then we noticed the sock.

There was a green dress sock lying neatly next to Molsen's laptop. The sock ended up making a demarkation line between all of Molsen's crap and Wiggum's stuff. It's partner (the other sock, not Molsen) was no where to be seen. It's cleanliness was in question.

"DUDE!" Wiggums exclaimed.

"That's fucked up!" I replied. I don't know why, but I had to start laughing. I was making a scene with my laughter, and had to retreat to the outside of the building.

Lounging outside in the warm sun, was BA, Murphy, and V-man. They wanted to know why I was still laughing. I related the story.

"And there's this sock that's sitting alone on Wiggum's desk. Friggin' nasty!" I told them.

"Oh," V-man said, "Don't worry about it, that's where he keeps his digital camera!"

"WHAT?" BA, Murphy, and I said pretty much close in unison.

V-man explained, "He's got one of those tiny digital cameras, and he keeps it in a sock. A green one I think."

"Is it clean?" I asked incredulously.

"Oh, I don't know, ask him about it"

It was then when Wiggums strolled outside looking for me.

"Dude," he said, "It looks as though there's something in the sock, like a bar of soap or something."

V-man recounted the whole digital camera deal with Wiggums.

"A friggin' sock, wonderful..."

We conspired in the event that the sock is still there tomorrow, to replace it with a sock from Wiggums and a bar of soap. Molsen's sock, handled carefully with gloves, will be safely stashed away in a desk drawer.

Cheers

Throwing the 'gay' word around...

2005-04-18T21:10:00.000-05:00

June Bug came back from Japan last week just in time to get his taxes done. Now, June Bug is the last of the college graduate aged field guys we hired. Admittidly, if I interviewed him ealier, he would have not passed my criteria for employment. Which are:

1) I'd have to imagine you sitting across from me in some dive bar and look like you're having some fun.
2) You have to look like you never got laid in college.
3) You have to be able to tell me what you did on your senior year design project and a decent drinking story in a manner I can clearly understand.

The reasons for this are as follows:

If we're going to leave you in some foreign country by yourself, you better know how to relax (criteria number 1). Number 2, well, we're going to leave you in countries like China or Russia, so if we get you laid during that time, you'll feel a bit more appreciative of the opportunities the company has offered. And with number 3, if I have to try to troublshoot your situation or fuck up over the phone, you better have excellent communication skills.

So June Bug has to talk to HugeB, the token metrosexual of the department, and afterwards, HugeB made the comment, "That kid's just a little too gay!"

Pretty soon, June Bug's name was changed to "A little too gay", or ALTG for short, engineers like to make acronyms for everything.

Needless to say, he was a little upset.

ALTG started to rip into Pirate, who looks exactly like one considering he wears two loop earings in each ear. "What about him (Pirate), he says he's not gay! Yeah, I believe him."

Now, Pirate was not in the room at the time and could not defend himself.

Wiggums chimed in to defend Pirate, "Dude, he's married with kids!"

"Yeah, but so was McGreevy!" Hertz, one of the more colorful members of the field service crew, added.

I had to agree on that point, "The ex-governor of this great state was married and gay. Hertz's got a point! But, June Bug, HugeB's right, you are a little gay."

ALTG fires back at me, "Yeah, but I didn't do the onsen thing with Nakamura-san!"

Now that was a shot across the bow. If anything anyone knows about me, I'll argue with anyone. Even if I am on the losing end of the conversation, I'll still argue. I think of it as a form of verbal fencing, and I've got to win.

"Well, then, so did your buddy Junior, P-neet, Karl, JB, Stanley, Wiggums..."

"I never did it!" Hertz interjected.

"Shut up..." I followed, "About half of field service did it."

"So?" ALTG replied.

"Well, by your logic, doing the onsen thing makes you gay, then you joined an organization that's half gay. And even if you denied it, that would make you, what? 'A little too gay' for the rest of the world. Qued Erat Demonstratum. Shut the fuck up and get back to work."

I was a bit harsh. But ALTG's a good guy and took it in stride.

In the end, ALTG could redeem himself if he gets lucky during his Penn State trip which is coming up soon. How come I never got the college installs when I was travelling? Grad students love us....

Cheers.

Specifity in training

2005-04-17T12:28:00.000-05:00

Just got back from a climbing clinic hosted by EMS. I didn't climb at all this week as BA was in New Orleans for work. He did call me up while I was running yesterday to invite me to go climb down at Bull's Island near the Delaware River.

There were only two of us at the clinic held at the Rutgers College Ave gym. The instructor, was some dude from EMS (I forgot his name), whom I later found out when to my grammer school and new some of my classmates. Small world, huh?

The other "student" was this geeky girl, J, who was a much better climber than I was (I was told women are better technique climbers as they have better hip flexibility than men, and as a runner, I have NO hip flexibility). Her ability to contort was good, and somewhat exciting. Hmmmmm....

I essentially climbed till my arms failed me, and, boy, did they fail me. As I write this, I am having difficulty doing the following simple tasks:

1) Opening doors
2) Tying my shoes
3) Opening bottles and jars
4) Any sort of writing, with a pen, you guys do know about thing like pen and paper, right?

Now, as a runner, I never really trained my legs to failure, but interval training on the track gets real close to that. So hopefully, my arms and forearms will adapt and maybe I'll have better forearm strength for later. Plus, my hands are a bit raw right now, and I'll bet some callouses are going to form.

In the end, I learned a bit about technique, and I'm sure through practice, I'll get better.

On a side note, as I know some of the people from my running club read my blog, hop over to The Megan and tell her to eat something every once and a while. Particularly, if she wants to continue running.

Not much else is going on. I still giggle when I read the previous post. I do desperately need a vacation, especially since I am still working, and I haven't seen my buddy in years. Plus, I desperately need to get out of here for a while.

But I do have a question for the void. A guy with a record like the shy kid from yesterday's post (fucking 8 chicks in 7 days) gets all sorts of accolades. We, at least the men, see that as cool (and from my perspective, funny). He's a stud. But flip that shit around, and put a chick in his place, and we all think that she's a slut. All social mores aside, why is that? Just a thought.

Cheers all.

Funniest conversation in a long time.

2005-04-16T14:18:00.000-05:00

So I get back from running at the Manasquan Reservior, and my buddy Joe, who's in Bahgdad, is online...

Joseph says:
but I did have a plan to open an office in Cuba with a few friends, I have to contact them again and find out what the hell happened to that idea
Joseph says:
there were supposed to be 6 of us,
cruelster@gmail.com says:
Cuba, hmmm
Joseph says:
and my job would be to move to Cuba, make the right contacts and wait for Castro to die, then start building business
cruelster@gmail.com says:
lol
Joseph says:
yeah, they got all into it cause the went there and it was the most laid place they have ever been
cruelster@gmail.com says:
gotta love sexual tourism
Joseph says:
one kid, the most shy one, fucked 8 girls in 7 days
Joseph says:
and it free! I mean, they love it!
cruelster@gmail.com says:
My god, that was the funniest thing I have ever heard
Joseph says:
dude, I dont even have a record like that
Joseph says:
I have 4 girls in 4 days, but not like that

I hit the floor after that. Oh, and it gets better...

Joseph says:
we gotta get you to cuba!
Joseph says:
or thailand
cruelster@gmail.com says:
LOL
Joseph says:
or Kenya
cruelster@gmail.com says:
:)
Joseph says:
....or so I hear
Joseph says:
serious, you need a few months off, me too. Serious sex tour
Joseph says:
get a round the world ticket for $1500, hit all of these places
Joseph says:
live on a cheap budget, just normal hotels (cause you cant bring girls back to a hostel)
Joseph says:
lotsa booze and video camera
Joseph says:
cigars and rubbers
cruelster@gmail.com says:
I can't believe I'm having this conversation!

The video camera thing got me. Somehow I don't think I'm Bob Crane. But then again, it doesn't take much to convince me of anything.

Joseph says:
how much time in advance do you have to give? I will tell you the next trip the "fellas" have planned
Joseph says:
and I can assure you, expect to get into some trouble
cruelster@gmail.com says:
One month is best
Joseph says:
I think we can do that...let me send out the emergency beacon and let them know we have an emergency case

So what do you all think, take him up on his offer?

Cheers

I knew it, I knew it all along...

2005-04-15T17:05:00.000-05:00

Your Inner European is Irish!

Sprited and boisterous!

You drink everyone under the table.

Who's Your Inner European?

I'm really not Irish, but people do tell me I'm too loud when I'm drunk. What's with the skirt?

I see your 900 and raise you another 900.

2005-04-15T14:50:00.000-05:00

Happy Tax Day, all!

So the paycheck I received today is going to two people: Uncle Sam and my lawyer. The lawyer fee, well, that's my own fault and if it keeps me driving, then it's all good. But how the hell do I pay money to the Federal Government, yet the state sends me a refund check. Add more insult to injury, you all ready know how much you gave to the IRS as it is automatically withdrawn from my paycheck, but then they ask you for more!

In the end it just reaffirms that I am a engineer, because if there's any problem, an engineer solves it with logic and/or money.

Cheers

Hey, there're still paying me anyway...

2005-04-14T14:54:00.000-05:00

I hate the fact that I have not much to do here at work, but still have to hang around for another half an hour before I can go. It's too nice outside. But to look busy, I have been trying to figure out why my blog looked all sorts of fucked up this morning. It was something in the body of my Myers-Briggs post. I'll investigate later, when I am not using up precious company resources.

That's where my quirkiness shines. I'm one hell of a trouble shooter. If there's some sort of problem, and I know I can fix it, then I devote all my energy into solving it. I guess it was the fact I watched MacGyver when I was young.

Cheers

A quiz because I'm bored.

2005-04-14T12:34:00.000-05:00

Nothing much going on here at work, so just doing the internet surfing thing. I stole this from Isabo.

Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"

August
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .

Cheers.

JC's Myers-Briggs results

2005-04-13T21:29:00.000-05:00

The body of this post somehow was messing up my side bar. I'll re-post it as soon as I figure out why it does that. JC

The ever expanding blog universe....

2005-04-13T16:24:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine from the running club has a blog. PB is an adventure racer (yeah, you all seen the show on the Discovery Channel with the Playboy chicks) and he just started up his blog. Go check it out and tell him how much of an ass I am.

With the combo of running and climbing, all I'd need next, according to IronPete and PB, is a mountain bike and I can enter the world of adventure racing. However, if I did that, I'd lose all respect from The Megan as some competitions, if I remember properly, allow mixed sex teams. "Any sport that has men and women together on a team is not a sport," she says. Hmmm...

I got to go run.

Cheers

Yeah, I'm going to Hell

2005-04-13T08:38:00.000-05:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

It's like playing a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game. It's not a game.

2005-04-12T20:40:00.000-05:00

So through Site Meter, I noticed there was increased amount of Google searches that brought people to my site.

Searches included: mental masturbation, masturbation blog, hot chick climbing, is masturbation exercise, masturbation exercises, and junior japanese girls masturbation.

Is masturbation an exercise? What the fuck kind of query is that? And masturbation exercises? If you need practice or need to improve your technique, then son (or miss, hey, you never know) Google isn't going to help you!

Cheers

You made your bed that's where you lie. No pearly gates when you die. We tried to teach, you didn't learn. You're going down, you're going to burn!

2005-04-12T15:00:00.000-05:00

I'm fucked, but it's my own fault and I am not asking for any sympathy.

I had my court date today for my traffic violations. Did you know in NJ the penalty for driving without insurance is stiffer than drunk driving or possession of marijauna? Automatic loss of license for one year, $300 fine, and community service (Municipal Court. N.J.S.A. 39:6B-2). What the fuck is up with that?

However, I may have an out (any good poker player must know all of his outs) but I'll have to discuss that with my lawyer.

This just proves to me that I can never be happy. It's a zero sum game in my life. Have a good weekend? Drop a bombshell on the JC on Tuesday. Life sucks, but what are you going to do about it?

On a side note, as I was awaiting the bad news from the judge, the other cases in the muni court were pretty fucking hilarious. I swear, if they allowed popcorn, I would have been set.

Also, I've determined I could never be a judge. I'd be too mean. Whenever I'm involved in a conversation where I am confronted with stupidity, I feel the urge to punish the fool for wasting my time. That would include myself if I were hearing my case today.

Case in point, there's a dude at work that has been wearing a sweater with snowflakes on it for the past two weeks. The weather's been good lately and Spring is here. So why the fuck is he wearing a sweater with snowflakes on it? When I run into the hallway I say, "Merry Christmas!" to him or yesterday, I said, "There's a blizzard in Denver, you heard about that one?"

Yeah, I'm one mean fucker sometimes.

Anyhoot, I will now commiserate on my stupidity. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Cheers all.

Sensory Overload

2005-04-11T16:34:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I think I'm living in a movie...

I didn't get much sleep last night, and the reason I'll keep private. I left the apartment late, and got stuck in traffic on my way to the local WaWa for some hot caffeinated goodness.

When I got to work, I parked the Honda and had one of those "Jedi" moments where I had a brief premonition that I'd knock the coffe cup over with my laptop bag. As I'd predicted just seconds earlier, I knocked my coffee cup over with my laptop bag spilling the contents onto the passenger side floor mat. And I had just cleaned the fucking car. It was a good thing it wasn't going to rain today, so I just left the windows open to air out the car.

At lunch, Wiggums and I stopped by the local Starbucks as my blood caffeine level was dangerously low. As I was waiting for my grande latte, there was some dude in one of the comfy chairs, talking on his cell phone while covering his mouth. Now, I got used to seeing that type of behavior when I was over in Asia. At first I thought that they did it just to keep the conversation private. Now I think it's just because all native Asians to the regions just have really bad teeth and are embarrassed by it. I was wondering if this middle aged white dude with the beard had the same self image problem. Or he could have just been a drug dealer.

On the weird side, HugeB, the token metrosexual in our department, commented on how well dressed and "Spring like" I was. Little did he know it was the same shit I had on last night, shirt, pants, shoes and all, and I was desperately trying to hide the fact that I was missing a button which I discovered after the unfortunate coffee incident in the morning. I had just bought the damn shirt a few days ago. I'll just sew the button back on when I find it.

Later in the afternoon, Fletch had brought a customer into the lab. The customer was some professor from some Southern Chinese University, and had brought along a lovely young lady assistant to take pictures of everything. She took pictures of the floor, the lab, the doors, the tools, myself and RP, my boss, you name it, she took a picture of it. But the fact that she had on a tight yellow tee shirt that said "Hot Juicy" in large black Peanut style letters was quite the eye catcher. Combine that with the tight jeans which showed off an actual, shapely ass (and all you who've been to Asia know that Asian women lack shapely tits and asses!) and the fact that she did have breasts (an added bonus) made for some pleasurable viewing. The only caveat was the whole bad teeth thing. I think that country doesn't have a single fucking toothbrush amongst the entire 1+ billion population. Oh well. Can't have everything!

On my way home, I had the iPod on shuffle and the Pietasters "Girl Take it Easy" played.

What a weird set of circumstances lately. And I am waiting to hear the director yell, "CUT!"

Cheers.

Red is actually my favorite color

2005-04-10T15:59:00.000-05:00

Take the quiz: "What color are you?"

Red
Your color is red... You get angry easy, and are pretty much a rebel.... You are not afraid to be crazy and independant... And you would do anything on a dare... You are angry, fearless, and hard to console...

Stolen from Brian.

Cheers

I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!

2005-04-10T14:30:00.000-05:00

I was supposed to head down to the Manasquan Reservoir to go run, but the fact that I got home late and stayed up to talk to my brother forced me to wake up rather late this morning. I've been looking for new places to run and that park (with it's 5.01 mile trail) came highly recommended. Since it's 30 minutes away, I'll probably only go there when I have to do long runs (10+ miles). If next weekend is nice, I'll head down there.

I stopped by Suncoast this afternoon to pick up my reserved copy copy of Sideways.

God, I love that movie. I have this theory that any male can see a bit of himself in either Miles or Jack and can relate to either one of them. On the plane to Japan, I saw it four times (what the hell else was I to do on a 14 hour flight?) Sandra Oh and Virginia Madsen looked hot in that flick as well.

I also had to pick up a copy of TurboTax, as I have been procrastinating a bit on doing my income taxes. On my way out of CompUSA, there was a sign on the wall which was one of those "We're happy to serve you, I'm the manager" signs. Below the picture of the middle aged white dude was his name Richard Seman. I had to laugh a bit thinking how cruel or ignorant one's parents had to be in order to be named that.

On a side note, there's a dude at work named Dick. Now being the sarcastic son of a bitch I am, I really can't address someone as Dick and keep a straight face. Maybe I'm a bit immature, or maybe I'm just an ass, but I'd rather just call him Mr. [name withheld].

I got to get some Spring cleaning done and go out for a run.

I got to get an EZ pass

2005-04-10T01:04:00.000-05:00

Digging for change at midnight while going 85 mph is rather difficult.

Lessons learned from tonight:

1) You'll either win a lot of money or lose a lot with a set on the flop.

2) Ace King suited don't mean shit when you get a raggedy flop, and even if you still play them aggressively, some nut at the table will have a two pair like sevens and fives.

3) I hate, and I really mean hate, fast playing pocket aces and losing to a double gut shot straight made on the river not once, but twice.

4) I still miscalculate the top five nut hands when looking at the board every once and a while. I really need to practice this.

While I do have a considerable bankroll from the years of Blackjack and despite the minor winnings from tonight ($240 on 6 12 Limit) I am still $300 down career wise in poker. One thing I still haven't gotten used to are the large swings in my bankroll. While they are comparable to the swings I see when playing Blackjack, the fact that I wait a half an hour, folding a lot of hands, to play a high pair or suited connectors only to be beaten on the river or forced to fold on the river is unnerving.

Other than the fact I have to play with money, I am really getting an appreciation for the simplicity and elegance of the game. You are given all the information you need (except for your opponent's hands) and you make a somewhat informed decision on how much money you want to put in the pot or if you want to get out. Trick is to know your odds and all your outs at all times. Something I need to work on. Besides, I have to use those math skills on something as I rarely use it at my job!

My goal of supplementing my income through poker is going to take a lot of practice and patience.

On a side note, my mood's been much better since the whole Daylight Savings Time thing. I've finally started to take my running more seriously now that the sun's out longer. Plus, the climbing gives me a good break from the monotony of running six days a week. Also, I am planning to run at different locations through out the state, as NJ does have some of the best running spots on the east coast.

'night all.

Blogger has been sucking the giant moosecock lately

2005-04-08T13:38:00.000-05:00

Yeah, the subject describes it best.

At the very least, the blogger outage last night prevented me from posting my drunken rant of a blog last night.

We let go of my good friend Chester, yesterday, along with 25 other individuals (including Willy). I've known Chester my whole career and he was one of the guys that interviewed me eight years ago. It was hard watching him pack up his personal belongings and be escorted out of the building.

I have to remind myself the head down to EMS in Princeton so I could sign up for a climbing seminar at the local college gym. I figure I need to expand the social circle once again. I can't just hang out with engineers all the time, it get's pretty boring after a while!

Cheers

Intriguing, but it all cancels out in the end...

2005-04-07T13:07:00.000-05:00

Oh, baby! I knew I was doing something right...

Fend Off Dementia with Sex, Crosswords and a Run

Perry Bartlett, a professor at the University of Queensland's Brain Institute, said mental and physical exercise helped create and nurture new nerve cells in the brain, keeping it functional and warding off diseases such as Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.

"Prolactin levels also go up during sex as well. So one could think of a number of more entertaining activities than running in order to regulate the production of nerve cells." Bartlett said.

Yeah but there is a huge oversight in this article. Wouldn't the beers I drink after my run kill the brain cells that are produced from the exercise? Wouldn't the cells produced from getting laid just replace the ones killed from the beers I had in order to hook up? I see this as a zero sum proposition.